New Hampshire Is for Lovers

In her mind, she stared at the president and yelled "Liar!" But when she opened her mouth, something altogether different came out.

Published May 20, 2004 7:50PM (EDT)

"Liar!" she yelled.

In her mind she yelled this to J. Junior Inferior, yelled it with the force of a hurricane, or a very big wave or some other kind of powerful force of nature. Perhaps a tsunami. In the ten seconds Victoria Passionately buried her face in her Reporter's Notebook and searched for the right words to say, she envisioned herself screaming "Liar!" a dozen times in the face of the president. Each time she would say the word, his face would shrink a bit more, as if she were a jungle head-shrinker of some kind, and this word, "Liar," was the agent with which she would perform her magic. Ha ha! she thought. He'd look so stupid with a tiny little head! Awesome.

The rest of this story is no longer online, but does appear in the book "The Unforbidden Is Compulsory, or Optimism."

By Dave Eggers

Dave Eggers is the author of "You Shall Know Our Velocity" and "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius."

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