Vice President Dick Cheney, his wife, Lynne, and keynote speaker Sen. Zell Miller, D-Ga., will take the podium at the Republican National Convention on Wednesday night (check local listings). Or you could tune out politicians, tune in musicians and get loca with "The Fifth Annual Latin Grammy Awards" (8 p.m. ET, CBS), which will be hosted by George Lopez.
Keyes, such a nice guy: In an interview with Sirius satellite radio, Alan Keyes, the Republican candidate running for Senate in Illinois against Barack Obama, shared his thoughts about homosexuality in general and Mary Cheney in particular: "The essence of ... family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principle excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism," Keyes told his interviewer, who then asked if that meant that Vice President Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary, was a "selfish hedonist." Replied Keyes, "That goes by definition. Of course she is." (Drudge)
Speaking of which, am I the only one who hadn't yet heard the audio file alleged to be retiring Rep. Ed Schrock, R-Va., describing his predilections on a gay sex line? Schrock announced earlier this week that he would not seek another term in office amid rumors that he's gay. The audio's posted here. (BlogActive via Wonkette)
And while we're on the subject of Washington sex scandals ... Jessica Cutler, the former D.C. intern who blogged about her steamy exploits as Washingtonienne, has made her Playboy naked pictorial debut. She also sat for an interview with the magazine, in which she shares deep thoughts about life and values inside the Beltway. Such as? "People like to pretend that money and looks don't matter, but they do. It's supposed to be a big meritocracy, but people here are just as shallow as anywhere else. The thing about D.C. is it's not Miami or New York where there are all these hot people everywhere. I'm cute by New York standards, but when I came here, my stock just shot up fast." (Playboy via P.R Newswire)
Like a mosh pit, only different: And if you were wondering what it feels like to be taunted by an arena full of angry Republicans, Michael Moore is ready to fill you in. "Thousands of Republicans turned to me chanting 'Four more years.' I thought, 'That's strange, Republicans are usually good at math, but they're off by a few dozen months. Bush only has two months left.' So I held up two fingers to correct their miscalculation. But that just drove them into more of a frenzy," Moore writes of his experience at the Republican National Convention earlier this week in his convention-time column in USA Today. "If you have never had this happen to you, I insist you try it at least once in your life. It is better than an angry mosh pit at a Slayer concert." (USA Today)
Franken time: Al Franken's getting into the Republican Convention scene, too, but not everyone's happy about it. After Franken crashed a party held for certain RNC "power elite" by Lally Weymouth, and had his documentary film crew film him mixing it up with Alan Keyes, Henry Kissinger (who was apparently amused by Franken's spot-on impression of him) and, quite heatedly, with GOP laywer C. Boyden Gray, Weymouth sniffed, "It's unfortunate that people who aren't invited come to private parties and don't know how to behave." (Lloyd Grove's Lowdown)
And now, a nonpolitical revelation from the very political Moby about how he likes to relax at the end of a hard day (file it under "to each his own"): "I like to clean house. Cleaning the toilet does not disgust me. I find it a thing of beauty. I get right into that toilet with my little scrubber and I scrub it. I never wear gloves." (Rush and Molloy)
-- Amy Reiter