Time to crack open the nearest unit of champagne. This whole CBS/forged document thing -- the mother of all campaign red herrings -- is finally over. Intrepid news anchor Jon Stewart has sorted it out. You can see the breaking news here.
And here's a partial transcript from the broadcast:
(Ed. note: Given that said transcript is a duplicate, War Room does not vouch for its authenticity.)
JON STEWART: Well Stephen, what do you think is going to happen now at CBS News?
STEPHEN COLBERT, Daily Show Senior Media Correspondent: Jon, there's got to be some accountability. Dan Rather is the head, the commander in chief if you will of his organization. He's someone in the ultimate position of power who made a harmful decision based upon questionable evidence. Then, to make things worse, he stubbornly refused to admit his mistake, choosing instead to stay the course and essentially occupy this story for too long. This man has got to go!
STEWART: Uh ... we're talking about Dan Rather...?
COLBERT: Yes Jon, Dan Rather. CBS is in chaos, it's unsafe, riven by internal rivalries. If you ask me, respected, reputable outsiders need to be brought in to help the rebuilding effort.
STEWART: ... at CBS News?
COLBERT: Yeah, at CBS news! What possible other unrelated situation could my words be equally applicable to?! Now people need to be held accountable. The commander in chief, the vice president, the secretary of defense, the national security adviser -- everyone at CBS News needs to go! Jon, I can tell you, Walter Cronkite is rolling over in his grave.
STEWART: Walter Cronkite is still alive.
COLBERT: Not according to my sources ... at CBS News.