The Fix

Michael Moore gets out the tighty-whitey vote, Parker and Stone cut "golden shower" scene, and Rodney Dangerfield's final joke.

Published October 6, 2004 9:31AM (EDT)

Turn On:
If you're in a blue mood, you're in luck Wednesday night: PBS offers "Cop Shop" (check local listings), a drama about the lives of New York Police officers on the Upper West Side, starring Richard Dreyfuss, Blair Brown, Rosie Perez and Rita Moreno. And Court TV brings you "Russell Simmons Presents: Hip-Hop Justice" (10 p.m. ET), which examines the connection between rappers and law enforcement.

Morning Briefing:
"No fair"-enheit? The Michigan Republican Party is asking for charges to be filed against Michael Moore, alleging that his recent practice of rewarding habitual nonvoters who say they will vote in the upcoming election with prizes like underwear, ramen noodles, clean dorm rooms and Tostitos. (On a tour of universities and colleges in his home state, Moore calls audience members up onstage to proclaim their voting intentions and then -- bam! -- slaps a pair of tighty-whities or chips in their sweaty palms.) "We want everyone to participate in this year's election, but not because they were bribed or coerced by the likes of Michael Moore," Greg McNeilly, executive director of the Michigan Republican Party, protested. (Associated Press via Detroit Free-Press)

Tiger ... tamed: If you're teed-off that you -- like so many paparazzi -- weren't invited to Tiger Woods' wedding to Swedish model-turned-nanny-turned-celebrity-bride Elin Nordegren in Barbados on Tuesday, here are the key things to know: The ceremony took place at sunset, next to a golf course (natch!). The bride wore a long, off-white gown, the groom and the groomsman wore greenish-beige suits, and the bridesmaids wore pale green dresses. The 100 guests mingling in tents and pagodas specially erected for the occasion at the Sandy Lane Hotel and Golf Club included Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. Hootie & the Blowfish played at the reception. Ten thousand black roses were flown in for the occasion -- along with caviar and vintage champagne. And the whole affair -- for which Woods rented out the entire 122-room resort to accommodate his guests and ensure their privacy -- was said to have cost upward of $1.5 million. (New York Daily News, New York Post)

Shower too dirty for ratings board: Trey Parker and Matt Stone's new film "Team America" has averted an NC-17 rating and snagged an R after undergoing a few choice cuts -- including the loss of a "golden shower" scene between two marionettes. "It's a back-and-forth with the ratings board," Parker commented. "We love the golden shower, but I guess they said no to that. But I just love that they have to watch it. Seriously, can you imagine getting a videotape with just a close-up of a puppet [bleep]hole, and you have to watch it?" (Hollywood Reporter, Page Six)

What lies beneath? Is "NBC Nightly News" planting subliminal anti-Bush messages in the heads of its viewers? That's what the Media Research Center ("Tracking Liberal Media Bias Since 1996") is alleging. "On Monday night the NBC Nightly News displayed the letters 'ILIE' for 16 seconds next to President George W. Bush's face in a 'Decision 2004' graphic beside anchor Tom Brokaw as he introduced a story by David Gregory," notes the organization's Web site. "The letters came from the word 'FAMILIES' in a sign on the far side of Bush, which read: 'TAX RELIEF FOR WORKING FAMILIES.'" An NBC News spokeswoman tells Matt Drudge, "To see a hidden message in this is just plain silly." (, Drudge)

Also: Donald Trump says he's in talks with NBC to bring the world another TV show, this one a scripted drama about the behind-the-scenes workings of the Trump businesses (N.Y. Daily News) ... Sean "Puffy/P.Diddy" Combs has been ordered to pay $35,000 a month in child support for his 10-year-old son, including almost $400,000 in back support (Reuters) ... And when she checks into prison, Martha Stewart will likely be required to "squat and cough" (Page Six)

Money Quote:
A final Rodney Dangerfield joke, posted on his Web site yesterday: "I get no respect. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood.'" (N.Y. Daily News)

-- Amy Reiter

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By Salon Staff

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