Letterman: Bush bulge was a flask



Joan Walsh
October 14, 2004 10:50AM (UTC)

David Letterman can't get enough of Bush's bulge. Here's a quick riff from his opening monologue Wednesday night:

"How many folks tonight saw the third and final deabate? I thought George Bush looked great. He was wearing his three-piece bulge. ... It turned out, tonight, the first thing George W. did was show everybody that the bulge in the back of his jacket ... was just his flask. That's all it is ... I'll tell ya, I watched the debates and frankly Bush did look confused. At one point he tried to buy a vowel." UPDATE: Letterman went on to do a "Top 10 President Bush Explanations For The Bulge In His Jacket:"

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10. "It's connected to an earpiece so Cheney can feed me answers--crap, I wasn't supposed to say that."

9. "It's a device that shocks me every time I mispronounce a word."

8. "Just a bunch of intelligence memos I haven't gotten around to reading yet."

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7. "Mmm, delicious Muenster cheese."

6. "John Kerry initially voted for the bulge in my jacket, then voted against it."

5. "I'll tell you exactly what it is--it's a clear sign this economy is moving again."

4. "Halliburton is drilling my back for oil."

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3. "Oh like you've never cheated in a presidential debate.

2. "Accidentally took some of Governor Schwarzenegger's 'roids."

1. "If Kerry's gonna look like a horse, then I'm gonna look like a camel."


Joan Walsh

Joan Walsh is the author of "What's the Matter With White People: Finding Our Way in the Next America."

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