OK, America, now that you've watched the last presidential debate, the choice should be perfectly clear -- even for you dazed undecideds still out there. On one side, we have a candidate who thinks we should have targeted Osama more than Saddam; we should allow cheaper prescription drugs to be imported from Canada; we should give women the right to choose and would not appoint any justice to the Supreme Court who feels differently; we should outlaw assault rifles; we should raise the minimum wage; we should uphold affirmative action; we should offer all Americans the same health coverage enjoyed by their elected leaders. And the other candidate? Well, he doesn't believe in any of that. But he is a man of deep faith. Oh, and he loves his wife and kids a whole lot.
If you're still confused about how to vote after tonight, maybe it would be better for you to go see "Team America" instead on election day.