The Fix

Charles and Camilla to marry. "Desperate Housewife" not a lesbian. Quadriplegic lawyer sues "The Apprentice."

By Salon Staff
Published February 10, 2005 3:14PM (EST)

Turn On:
On Thursday night you can watch a movie you may not have seen, "The Housekeeper" (Sundance, 7:30 p.m. EST), about a guy who has an affair with his cleaning lady, or one you likely have seen, "Finding Nemo" (Encore, 8 p.m. EST). Or you can watch the Valentine's Day episode of "Will & Grace" (NBC, 8:30 p.m. EST) on which Ed Burns and Jeff Goldblum guest star. Oh, and Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's parents, Joe and Tina, are on "Larry King Live" (CNN, 9 p.m. EST).

Morning Briefing:
After a three-decade wait: It looks like Prince Charles' long-held fantasy will finally come true. (No, not the tampon thing.) The prince and his longtime love and fellow divorcee, Camilla Parker Bowles, have announced that they plan to get hitched in a civil ceremony on Friday, April 8, at Windsor Castle, in what is being described as a "largely private occasion for family and friends." "There will subsequently be a service of prayer and dedication in St. George's Chapel at which the Archbishop of Canterbury will preside," according to a royal spokesman. The prince's mother, Queen Elizabeth II, is said to have given the marriage her blessing. But in a bow to public opinion, Parker Bowles will be known as the princess consort, rather than Queen Camilla, after Charles becomes king. In the meantime, you can call her Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall. (Associated Press)

Straight answer? Marcia Cross really wants the world to know that she's not -- N-O-T -- gay. "I'm not!" Cross told Barbara Walters during an appearance on "The View" shortly after her publicist refuted rumors that the "Desperate Housewives" star was poised to come out. ("She is, however, very supportive of the gay and lesbian community," noted the flack.) "This is what comes of being 42 and single," Cross said of the rumors. "I don't know if they just needed to find a reason why I wasn't married." The actress added that, when she first heard the reports, she thought it was "really weird ... that there was all this curiosity about something like that -- about sexuality. And I thought what a world we live in that that's so important." (Sky News)

Legal firepower: Today brings news of two lawsuits in Donald Trump-land -- one threatened, one filed. 1) Trump -- whose reality show, "The Apprentice," runs on NBC -- is threatening to sue ABC if it doesn't portray him accurately in its upcoming TV biopic about him, based on Gwenda Blair's book "The Trumps: Three Generations That Built an Empire." According to a press release about an upcoming Trump appearance on NBC's "Access Hollywood," "Trump says he will take legal action if he feels the ABC biopic about his life casts him in a false light. 'I will definitely,' he says. 'But as long as it's accurate, I won't be suing them.'" Right kind of him. 2) Meanwhile, the producers of "The Apprentice" are being sued by a quadriplegic lawyer in St. Louis, who claims that the auditions for the show discriminate against people like him by requiring that contestants be in "excellent physical health." The lawyer, James Schottel Jr., is seeking no monetary damages, but would like to be an "Apprentice" contestant. (Washington Post, Associated Press)

On the block: If you thought the world had already had a chance to snap up all the snips and scraps left behind by JFK and Jackie Kennedy Onassis, you thought wrong. Next week, Sotheby's will host the auction "Property from Kennedy Family Homes," which will feature 691 lots of furniture, art, rugs, lamps, baskets, china, books, documents, knickknacks and jewelry, though not quite the sort of thing featured in the auction house's incredibly successful 1996 Kennedy stuff sale. "That sale was more about the high-style life, particularly Mrs. Onassis' in New York. This one really is much more about the country houses, particularly Hyannisport, and less so about Fifth Avenue," Sotheby's Vice Chairman David Redden told the Washington Post. According to that paper, "The quality of the goods is wildly uneven, from lovely (a circa 1900 gold and enamel Fabergé tryptych frame, pre-sale estimate $15,000 to $20,000) to heartbreaking (a 1968 Aaron Shikler painting of Jackie reading to her fatherless children, Caroline and John Jr., $8,000 to $12,000) to downright tacky (a group of 14 'molded-glass articles' that includes seven jars, minus lids, and four glasses apparently pinched from the Hyannisport Club, $60 to $80)." (Washington Post)

Also: Naomi Wolf and her husband, New York Times Op-Ed editor David Shipley, are reportedly splitting up. (Page Six) ... Production has been halted on the filming of Lindsay Lohan's new movie "Just My Luck" in New Orleans because the hard-partying actress has come down with a bad flu. (Page Six) ... Lohan's father, Michael Lohan, currently locked in a messy divorce battle with the actress's mother, has reportedly been telling people that he'd like the whole Lohan family to sign on to star in a reality TV show. (Rush and Molloy) ... Were those reports of Drew Barrymore's split with boyfriend Fabrizio Moretti greatly exaggerated? The two were spotted looking "very amorous" in a New York restaurant yesterday afternoon. (Rush and Molloy) ... The Who's Roger Daltry was named Commander of the Order of the British Empire by Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace on Wednesday in recognition of his services to music, the entertainment industry and charity. (Associated Press) ... Oh, and memo to Nick Lachey: The next time you give out your private cellphone number to an attractive woman, you might want to make sure she's not a gossip columnist. (Rush and Molloy)

Money Quote:
Russell Crowe on maintaining his actorly purity: "I don't use my celebrity to make a living. I don't do ads for suits in Spain like George Clooney or cigarettes in Japan like Harrison Ford. And on one level, people go, 'Well, more fault to you, mate, because there's free money to be handed out.' But to me it's kind of sacrilegious -- it's a complete contradiction of the [bleep]ing social contract you have with your audience. I mean, Robert De Niro's advertising American Express. Gee whiz, it's not the first time he's disappointed me. It's been happening for a while now." (GQ via Page Six)

-- Amy Reiter

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