Lust, looks, and libraries

A conservative bodice-ripper, the downside of mirrors and the upside of libraries -- all this week in Table Talk.

Published February 11, 2005 5:36PM (EST)

Television

Headlines! "The Daily Show" rules!

Macdaffy - 02:08 pm Pacific Time - Feb 9, 2005 - #3601 of 3626

Chastity's breasts were like ivory pillows each dolloped with a perfect maraschino cherry.

Brick's massive chest swelled as her cool, perfect, white hand caressed his face. "Oh, Brick," Chastity breathed, "let's enjoy our time together in this sacred bower where liberals dare not enter and love flows like tax cuts from a Republican Congress!"

"Republican Congress? Is that what you want, darling?" Brick asked.

"Yes! Yes!"

He kissed her gently then, just at the joining of her neck and shoulder. With a gentle, firm touch, he rubbed the falafel against her most secret place causing her to tremble with the joy that only a woman can know ..."

The smell of camellias joined with Brick's ministrations to overwhelm Chastity's senses. Eyes closed, she wished these moments could last forever. A million butterflies caucused in her loins and, like blue-fingered Iraqis, found fluttering freedom throughout her shuddering body.

"Oh. Brick! I never knew it could be this way."

"It can always be this way, my sweet," rumbled Brick as he cuddled her in his sinewy arms, "at least, it can when my wife isn't around."

Chastity nuzzled her cheek against Brick's chest, staining it with her tears of joy. "Brick ... darling ... I want you to know that I'm yours and yours alone. I'm prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice if you'll let me."

Brick searched the crystalline depths of Chastity's eyes but found no doubt in them. He brushed back a lock of blond hair and whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Brick! Yes, my darling! I'm sure. I want to. I want to give you the best hummus you've ever had ..."

Work Life

True Tales of the Office

GabrieleB - 06:50 a.m. Pacific Time - Feb. 7, 2005 - #7271 of 7275

My mother was a high school librarian for many years. "Express" and "Library" is an oxymoron. If you want express you go to B&N or Borders. You order it from Amazon. You go to a library for the library-ness of it. You're in a different world, one that's scholarly and contemplative. I love seeing moms and kids at the library. My mother took us all the time; I still remember the librarian and that little date stamp & pencil thing she used. And the books that you will not find in a bookstore. I think the overdue fine was 2 cents a day and we still racked up fines like crazy.

A librarian will make suggestions (good ones) that you'd never hear or find on your own. Libraries are for people who read. Who love the feel and smell of books and love browsing for hours and marveling at how much has been written that you've never read. You can love the speed of the Internet and life and MTV and everything else. But a library is where you go to slow down.

Social Issues

Old Broads: Women's Thoughts About Growing Older

Laura Erickson - 07:25 a.m. Pacific Time - Feb. 3, 2005 - #3003 of 3115

Sometimes I wonder if some of mankind's advances haven't been curses. Long ago, before the invention and then the availability of mirrors, a person could only see what he or she looked like through reflections in water or metal, blurry and softened, and since glasses weren't available, either, often a rather myopic version of his or her true appearance. The first mirrors weren't all that great, either. Now we seem to look at ourselves through magnifying mirrors, noting every detail and choosing to see some as flaws to be ironed out. I've long wondered whether all that energy and attention and money couldn't be focused elsewhere. But where? Our appearance is one part of how people judge us, and this consuming attention to appearance seems a fundamental and growing obsession of our entire society. But I hate it.

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