Slater in a pinch? Did Christian Slater squeeze the buttocks of an unsuspecting 52-year-old woman at a bodega on New York's Upper East Side in the wee hours of Tuesday morning? So says the woman, who reported the incident to police apparently unaware that her alleged groper was a Hollywood star. According to police, Slater "had been drinking, and he grabbed her butt ... That's sexual harassment." So they handcuffed him and hauled him in. As they did, he reportedly griped, "This is bullshit! I didn't do anything. I'm suing you! I'm suing the Police Department! I'm suing everybody!" Slater, who has scuffled with the law before, was released in time to appear on Broadway in the revival of "The Glass Menagerie" in which he's currently starring. Slater's publicist told the press that the "situation is the result of a misunderstanding" and that she hopes it "will be resolved shortly." The actor is set to appear in court in July. Meanwhile, a group of strippers at the New York club Scores have stepped up to defend Slater in print, saying their frequent patron is a perfect gent. "He is one of the most polite and kind celebrities that I have ever danced for," says one young woman. (N.Y. Daily News, Page Six, Celebrity Justice, Reuters)
A simple life for gay Paris: Paris Hilton, who recently has been gushing about her boyfriend of eight months, shipping heir Paris Lastis, has now announced her intention to marry him. Yes, the couple with the same first name and similarly swollen bank accounts are planning to tie the knot and, according to Hilton, make little Parises soon enough. Latsis, 27, who asked Hilton's parents for their 24-year-old daughter's hand in marriage before popping the question to Hilton herself, is being described by friends as "very mellow, very sweet" and "low-key ... the opposite of what [Hilton is] used to." Says Hilton buddy Jonathan Cheban, "Ever since she met him she's been a different person. She's turned into a woman." How sweet. But leave it to the British tabloid the Sun to give you way more information than you want to know about the couple. On a recent trip to Aruba, the couple reportedly kept their fellow resort guests up by "doing it as much as four times a night ... You could hear moaning and groaning and the bed bumping the wall." Now there's a lovely anecdote to include in the wedding toast. (N.Y. Post, Rush & Molloy)
Stone stoned? Oliver Stone was arrested for drug possession and drunken driving in Beverly Hills over the weekend. Stone was driving his Mercedes on Sunset Boulevard when cops pulled him over. "During the course of the contact, Mr. Stone exhibited symptoms of possible alcohol intoxication," police said. "As the result of additional investigation, Mr. Stone was arrested for suspicion of misdemeanor DUI and possession of a controlled substance." The director, who reportedly cooperated with police, was released Saturday morning after posting $15,000 bail. He'll be back in court to face charges at the end of June. (E! Online, Celebrity Justice)
Jackson trial update: Closing statements in the Michael Jackson trial are expected to begin on Thursday. Meanwhile, the judge is currently preparing the instructions for the jury and also considering two proposals aimed at minimizing the media frenzy when the verdict is read. The jury may get the case as early as this Friday. On Tuesday, the judge ruled that jurors may consider allegations of past wrongdoing, if they believe them to be true, in reaching a verdict on the current allegations brought against the pop star. (CBS News, N.Y. Post, Associated Press)
Also: Rush Limbaugh says he's contemplating whether to give Rev. Al Sharpton "some pointers, some tutoring" about hosting a radio talk show after a casual offer he made on the air on Friday was taken seriously by Sharpton, who has been hired by Media Matrix to host his own show as a "Limbaugh of the Left." (Lloyd Grove's Lowdown) ... Donald Trump and a group of investors are selling 77 acres of riverfront property on Manhattan's Upper West Side for $1.8 billion -- the biggest residential sale in New York City history. (N.Y. Daily News) ... Candace Bushnell is being sued by her former manager, who claims she cheated him out of $1 million related to the Bushnell-book-based "Sex and the City" series on HBO. (N.Y. Post) ... Neil Armstrong is threatening to take legal action against his barber for selling his hair cuttings to a clipping collector for $3,000. If the legendary astronaut can't get the hair back, he says he's at least hoping to have the proceeds from the sale donated to charity. (N.Y. Post) ... Howard Stern and his girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky, are reportedly trying to help get FHM magazine's just-fired editor-at-large Jake Bronstein his job back. Bronstein claims he was canned for saying during an interview that frequent FHM cover girl and columnist Ostrosky was famous solely due to her involvement with Stern. (Page Six) ... Sean "P. Diddy" Combs was paid a reported $3 million to be a celebrity spokesperson for the acne medication ProActive, despite the fact that he has no apparent problem with pimples. (Page Six) ... Bob Geldof has announced plans for another Live Aid, a series of concerts called Live 8 to be held around the world on July 2. (Associated Press, Washington Post) ... Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails has been awarded $2.95 million by a jury that found his former manager guilty of defrauding him. (Associated Press) ... Kevin Spacey, Robert Evans and Method Man have signed on to take part in a TLC reality series called "Going Hollywood." They'll serve -- on camera -- as mentors to a pack of ambitious interns. (Associated Press) ... Megan Mullally, of "Will & Grace" fame, has just signed with NBC to host her own syndicated talk show in fall 2006. (Associated Press) ... Westminster Abbey is refusing to allow the producers of the upcoming movie based on "The Da Vinci Code" to film in the church, calling Dan Brown's best-selling book "theologically unsound." (Reuters) ... Snoop Dogg has been accused of assault by a fan who claims he was abused by the rapper and his handlers after he was invited onstage during a concert. Dogg's camp says the man jumped up on the stage uninvited and was dealt with by security accordingly. (All Headline News)
Oh, and hey, don't say you never learned anything useful from the Fix, or its predecessor, Nothing Personal. W. Mark Felt, Deep Throat? It was all right here back in 1999. All you had to do was believe a cryptogram-cracking camp friend of Carl Bernstein's son ...
Wednesday night offers two new reality shows to check out: ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" (9 p.m. EDT), on which you can watch celebrities like Evander Holyfield do the cha-cha, and the WB's "Beauty and the Geek" (8 p.m. EDT), which takes a look at attactive women and the smart, nebbishy guys who love them.
-- Amy Reiter