The Fix

Holmes' parents caught off-guard. Aniston laughs through her tears. And Hermes comes crawling back to Oprah.

By Salon Staff
Published June 23, 2005 11:12AM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Mightn't she have warned them? It's time to feel sorry for Katie Holmes' parents. Sources have told the New York Daily News that Holmes' folks told their fellow parishioners in their Toledo Roman Catholic Church that their daughter had no intention of converting to Scientology like her famous fiancé, Tom Cruise -- only to hear press reports in which she announced that she had. Said one family friend, "She's not consulting her family on any of her decisions." Then again, Holmes and Cruise recently flew her parents to New York to meet his family in what has been termed a "'get to know you before the kids get married' session." At least that's something. (Rush & Molloy, Page Six)

Something funny, Mrs. Smith? It's time to stop feeling sorry for Jennifer Aniston. The actress is apparently keeping her sense of humor in the face of all the hype surrounding her estranged husband, Brad Pitt, and his "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" costar Angelina Jolie. According to Inside TV magazine, Aniston has checked in to the Peninsula Hotel in Chicago, where she is shooting the film "The Break Up," under the name "Mrs. Smith." "Everyone at the Peninsula knows it's Jen," the magazine reports. "But hotel policy requires room servers to address guests by the name they're checked in under." (Inside TV via Page Six)

She did it for the kids: Who knows if you should feel sorry for her? The housekeeper accused of swiping jewelry, clothing and credit cards from the New York homes of celebrities including Grace Hightower and Robert De Niro, Candice Bergen, and Faith Popcorn says she has a really good excuse for ripping people off. "Her story is her sister passed away and she had to take care of her sister's children," a source told the New York Daily News. "She lost her mind and she took most of these items and she didn't sell them." (N.Y. Daily News)

Who's sorry now? Hermes, that's who. The luxury chain has apologized to Oprah Winfrey after turning her away from its Paris store last week -- and getting a lot of bad press about it. "Hermes regrets not having been able to accommodate Ms. Winfrey and her team and to provide her with the service and care that Hermes strives to provide to each and every one of its customers worldwide," the store said, explaining that its employees were setting up for a big P.R. event when Winfrey stopped in, 15 minutes after closing,. "Hermes apologizes for any offense taken due to such circumstances." Hermes' CEO reportedly called Winfrey's people to apologize, but it may be too little too late: A spokeswoman for the daytime queen says she intends to discuss the dis on the air when the show returns from hiatus in September. (CNN)

Martha, Martha, Martha: Martha Stewart says her version of "The Apprentice," which has just wrapped, will be "quite different" from Donald Trump's -- and says she's dumped Trump's "You're fired" catchphrase. Though Stewart won't say how she intends to let losing contestants go, she will say that she went through an exhaustive process to find the perfect Martha kiss-off -- by polling employees at her company. "I got some doozies," she told the Hollywood Reporter. Including? "You're not a good thing" and "You're a bad thing." May we suggest "You're not Martha material"? In other Martha news, a new musical inspired by Stewart's life, "Martha! The Unauthorized Musical," will have a staged reading in New York next week. (Hollywood Reporter, CNN/Money, Playbill)

Also: Looks like you'll be able to watch Live 8 from the comfort of your own home -- or even your own desk. MTV and VH1 will broadcast portions of the concerts on July 2, and AOL will screen them on the Internet. What's more, ABC may air a prime-time show featuring highlights from the concerts. (Associated Press) ... Lindsay Lohan is reportedly upset with Disney not just for removing her prominent image from posters for "Herbie: Fully Loaded" but also for banishing a song she recorded for the film to the credits after promising that it would underscore the big race scene. (Page Six) ... Prince William has graduated from St. Andrews University in Scotland and will spend the coming months traveling and taking on work-experience projects to "broaden his knowledge." (Prince Charles' Web site via ) ... Paramount chief Brad Grey is moving Plan B, the production company he started with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, from Warner Bros. to Paramount. (BBC News) ... The man who sent Mel Gibson 12 letters telling him that God intended for them to pray together and then showed up at Gibson's church hours after the actor got a restraining order against him has been committed by a judge to a secure psychiatric facility. (BBC News) ... The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has voted to tighten the rules on the Oscars given to producers and songwriters and has declined to add a new category for stuntmen. (Reuters) ... Howard Stern and E! Entertainment Television, which has aired his TV show for 11 years, have decided to part ways. Stern says he plans to announce a new TV deal with another company in the next few weeks. (E! Online) ... Nine women who are expected to testify in an upcoming civil trial that Bill Cosby drugged and molested them are asking for anonymity from the judge to avoid being "swept into a publicity maelstrom" related to the case, brought by a Canadian woman who claims she was fondled by Cosby in his Phildelphia-area home. (BBC News)

Money Quote:
Noel Gallagher on what he sees as the futility of Live 8: "Are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick 15 minute break at Gleneagles [in Scotland] and sees Annie Lennox singing 'Sweet Dreams' and thinks, 'F**k me, she might have a point there, you know?' Keane doing 'Somewhere Only We Know' and some Japanese businessman going, 'Aw, look at him... we should really f**king drop that debt, you know.' It's not going to happen, is it?" (

Turn On:
Two reruns are better than one? The networks certainly seem to think so. On Thursday night, NBC will air back-to-back episodes of "Joey," starting at 8 p.m. EDT, and Fox will air a double shot of "The O.C.," also starting at 8 p.m.

-- Amy Reiter

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