Motherhood for Miller? The Sienna Miller/Jude Law saga just got even snarlier, according to a New York Daily News report that Miller is already more than two months pregnant with the philandering actor's child. Sourcing Star Magazine, the Daily News reveals: "Last month, the couple gathered friends and kin at their London home to announce that Miller was nine weeks pregnant ... Miller's bliss curdled a few days later when she opened the Sunday Mirror to read about the affair Law, 32, had with his kids' nanny, Daisy Wright, 26. 'She [and Jude had] discussed names for the baby,' a friend says. But now, Law 'has destroyed any chance they had of bringing up the baby together.'" Neither Miller's nor Law's representatives have commented on the matter, though Miller has lately been seen leaving her parents' house looking puffy-eyed and shaken. Still, no matter how "delicate" her condition, Miller seems steadfast in her decision to leave Law behind. A friend of the couple's tells Star Magazine, "Jude offered her the moon, but Sienna believes he's a sex addict who's incapable of being faithful ... If [Jude] wants to play an active role in the child's life, she's not going to stand in his way or put up a legal fight. But they will never be under the same roof." (N.Y. Daily News)
Reality show woes: Jessica Simpson has some sage advice for pregnant pop princess Britney Spears: "Ditch the reality show!" The first season of Spears' and Federline's "fly-on-the-wall" show, "Britney & Kevin: Chaotic," has already begun airing in the United States, but Simpson -- whose marriage to singer Nick Lachey was chronicled in the MTV reality series "Newlyweds" -- says the couple should get out while they still can. Britney should "only do one season. We were locked in. We thought it was a six-episode documentary, but it ended up being two years," Simpson tells Britain's Mirror. Simpson also believes that their reality show is to blame for the persistent rumors that her marriage to Lachey is already on the rocks. "We set ourselves up for it with ['Newlyweds']," Simpson reportedly told Contact Music. "You've seen me and Nick go at each other's throats on TV. They've got all these people giving their opinions on our marriage and how we handle it, when they are watching an edited TV show." (The Mirror, Contact Music, The Scoop)
More time for Martha? The domestic diva, who turns 64 today, received an unpleasant surprise just in time for her birthday. Turns out that a recent report in the New York Post, which told of Stewart cruising around her property in a Kawasaki jeep and attending yoga classes with her daughter, has landed Stewart in a heap of trouble with her probation officers. The conditions of Stewart's house arrest state that she is allowed to leave her Bedford, N.Y., home only 48 hours a week, and only for activities related to work, church, doctors appointments or food shopping. Says the Post, "Federal probation officials acknowledged that they [are] 'following up on the allegations' that she may have violated those conditions based on The Post's [previous] report." Stewart was originally slated for release from probation on Aug. 10, but "a well-placed snitch" now says, thanks to the breach, Stewart's stay under federal scrutiny may be extended by up to three weeks. (N.Y. Post)
Eva goes over the top: Seems as though the spoiled sexpot character Eva Longoria plays on ABC's "Desperate Housewives" might not be much of a stretch for the actress. Rumor has it that when a Los Angeles nightspot recently refused to admit Longoria and her boyfriend, Tony Parker, the star threw a "hissy fit" outside on the sidewalk. Jeanette Walls reports in the Scoop that an "onlooker" says in the upcoming issue of In Touch Weekly, Eva "was demanding to be let in immediately. She was telling the doorman that she was a celebrity and wouldn't wait. But she was told, 'You're no exception here. You have to wait in line behind the other 100 people.'" Longoria's rep insists the scene was misinterpreted, saying, "She would never do that. She's very easygoing that way." (The Scoop)
Also: It's a sad day for fans of Comedy Central's wildly popular "Chappelle's Show." The New York Post reports that the series, which has been on indefinite hold since its star and creator, Dave Chappelle, abruptly left for South Africa in April, is unlikely to ever resume production. Charlie Murphy, brother of Eddie and a close collaborator of Chappelle's, tells the paper, "I don't think Dave is going to do anymore ... We shot about eight shows for the third season, and they're hilarious. They'll be released on DVD, I'm sure. But that's it." What about the higher-ups at Comedy Central? They haven't a clue. Comedy Central's president, Doug Herzog, told reporters recently, "The ball's in Dave's court. If you see him, tell him to phone home" ... Michael Jackson has sold his first post-trial interview to the new U.S. version of Britain's OK! magazine for an astronomical $2 million fee. A source close to the tabloid says, "Michael Jackson was given full approval over the interview, and the questions are very softball. He got to tell his side of the story the way he wanted to." The issue will be available next week ... New bride Sandra Bullock spent Tuesday selling sweets at the grand opening of her sister's Vermont bakery. Bullock and her sister, Gesine Prado, already operate Bullock's production company, Fortis Films, together, but Prado recently decided she wanted to try a new career. Bullock insists yesterday's appearance won't be her last, saying that she plans to work at the shop "whenever I need the money" ... As the Lohan family divorce debacle picks up speed, Lindsay is likely to be subpoenaed soon for testimony. The Daily News reports that Lindsay's father, "Michael Lohan, 44, who is currently doing 1 1/3 to four years in prison for assault and drunken driving, wants a cut of the millions his daughter has made." But he shouldn't hold his (beery) breath. Lindsay herself recently told W magazine, "He didn't do anything for my career except go out and not come home at night. So I don't think he deserves anything. He doesn't even deserve my respect."
Didn't get enough celebrity brain candy reading this column? Kathy Griffin, the terminally uncool comedian, premieres her new reality show, "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List," tonight on Bravo at 10 p.m. EDT.
-- Sarah Karnasiewicz