There are new dramas this season besides the ones dedicated to scaring the bejeezus out of us. And who would've thought that the most promising one stars a favorite old Vice?
| SHOW | STARS | PREMISE | SEE ALSO | WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT THAT? | BONUS POINTS |
| Fox's "What About Brian" | Rosanna Arquette, Barry Watson | Dramatization of The Cars' "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" meets "thirty- something" coupling angst | "Desperate Yuppies" | Almost nothing, as it turns out | Won't air until mid-season |
| WB's "Related" | Jennifer Esposito, Kiele Sanchez, Lizzy Caplan | Four sisters who are so, like, totally different, but they, like, totally love each other soooo much! | "Desperate Sisters" | Not much, although zany, hapless professional girls who like shows about zany, hapless professional girls will dig it | Drama with four female leads that aren't all bored housewives |
| Fox's "Reunion" | Mathew St. Patrick, Amanda Righetti, Will Estes | Six of the bestest friends ever fall apart over the course of 20 years, then -- gasp! -- one is murdered! | "Desperate Classmates" | Each episode covers one year of their lives since graduation -- that means lots of melodrama and funny outdated fashions | Haley from "The OC" plays another heartless slut |
| NBC's "Incon- ceivable" | Ming-Na, Jonathan Cake, Angie Harmon | A neutered "Nip/Tuck" about fertility doctors | "Desperate Childless Couples" | Clunky attempts at intrigue will remind you what you like about "Grey's Anatomy" | Vengeful slut steals post-blow-job sperm! |
| WB's "Just Legal" | Don Johnson, Jay Baruchel | Washed-up, world-weary lawyer meets young, idealistic lawyer, starts a practice at Venice Beach! | "Desperate Attorneys" | Don Johnson is great playing a tired old has-been, the kid is likable, and strangely enough, it works | Hate to admit it, but a cheesy has-been and a young idealist really do make an entertaining pair |
| Fox's "Head Cases" | Chris O'Donnell, Adam Goldberg | Straight, fusty lawyer in crisis meets eccentric, violent lawyer, starts a practice at Venice Beach! | "Desperate Chris O'Donnell" | Could just as easily be called "Uptight WASP & Nutty Jew, LLP" | Watching Chris O'Donnell suffer is somehow gratifying |
| UPN's "Sex, Love and Secrets" | Denise Richards, Eric Balfour | Hip young swingles living it up in trendy Silver Lake | "Desperate Hipsters" | Clunky attempts at intrigue will remind you what you liked about "Dynasty" when you were, oh, 9 years old | Sort of like a Pussycat Dolls show, but with dialogue where the lip-syncing would normally go |
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