Meet the parents: Katie Holmes' father is (finally) lashing out about his daughter's shotgun wedding. The new issue of Life & Style Weekly quotes a "friend" of Tom Cruise's as saying that Katie's dad, Martin, was "very upset and got into a real spat with Katie. Tom had promised her parents that they would do the right thing and get married before any baby came along." Mr. Holmes, who is a devout Catholic to boot, also turned on the young man who knocked up his daughter, telling Cruise, "You're no good." And, of course, the family's none too happy about the pall Scientology is casting over the whole affair. "It seemed like Katie was being controlled by Scientologists," another source said. "Now they wonder if it's a 'Rosemary's Baby' situation, where Katie is being groomed to provide Tom with a child." (The Scoop)
Uber is the new metro: Just when you thought the metrosexual movement was dead, Marian Salzman, an executive at ad firm JWT, has a new book out called "The Future of Men," which includes a list of the top 10 übersexuals. What is an übersexual? A metrosexual with a very clearly delineated masculinity. Or something. Here are the top five:
"5. Arnold Schwarzenegger: He journeyed from body builder to mega movie star to politician, all the while keeping his shoes buffed and hair in place. He has succeeded in every challenge he's faced, and he has a Kennedy for a wife.
" 4. Donald Trump: Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.
" 3. Bill Clinton: A born charmer with Southern roots who is not afraid to cry. He is a supremely confident, decisive leader. And he has supremely sexy hands.
"2. George Clooney: He appreciates the finer things in life (including his villa on the shores of Lake Como), and he is strongly bonded with and loyal to a cadre of male friends. His timeless image has allowed him to rise from B-sitcoms to box-office hits, some of which he's directed and/or produced.
"1. Bono: He's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music -- and his humanitarianism. Is it any wonder rumors [were] swirling about a Nobel Peace Prize? "
Patty knows best? Readers of the New York Daily News weren't exactly pleased with Patty Hearst's recent pronouncements about terrorism warnings. In the wake of the recent subway scare, Hearst told the paper: "There's so much weeping and wailing and memorializing, my feeling is it'd be a lot healthier if people didn't externalize so much and kind of bucked up a little bit." One faithful reader wrote in: "Please assure Patty that folks I know aren't frightened ... The most secure and unfrightened people I know are Christian friends who believe in the Living Lord who made heaven and Earth, and He will determine the number of our days." Another had a more direct approach: "As for American paranoia, I believe there is still a massive crater in southern Manhattan where the World Trade Center used to be. Paranoia is a word that must be redefined for our brave new world. Maybe Patty Hearst should stick to what she knows best: robbing banks." (New York Daily News)
We have a new, blond Bond: On the heels of rumors about an affair with Sienna Miller, British actor Daniel Craig has been named as the new incarnation of 007. After an interminable casting process that netted the series a fair amount of publicity, it came down to Craig and unknown Henry Cavill -- the final audition was to see how each of them looked in a tux, and Craig apparently fit the bill ... Rush Limbaugh seems intent on trying to bring down Bono: On his show on Tuesday, he launched into a long tirade against the new übersexuals, including Bono, and then started claiming that the U2 frontman has a mistress, despite being married for 23 years. When a caller asked how Rush could possibly know this, he said, "You people are just going to have to trust me on this" ... Angelina is making headlines that don't involve Brad: Jolie received a humanitarian award at the United Nations on Tuesday, recognizing her work as a goodwill ambassador for the U.N.'s refugee agency Charlize Theron is not about to go through the Hollywood marriage-divorce cycle, because she doesn't want to get married in the first place. "I'm happy for people who want to get married," she told Access Hollywood. "It's not my thing." This doesn't mean, though, that she's unhappy with her boyfriend of four years, Irish actor Stuart Townsend. "I'm extremely happy in my relationship," she said. "I would love to have kids."
Elizabeth Hurley on her basic fear of plastic surgery: "I think I'd be a little bit scared to have bones broken and reset but we'll have to see what happens in time." (Contact Music)
It's the series debut of Freddie Prinze Jr.'s cleverly named "Freddie" (ABC, 8:30 p.m. EDT). It's also the season premiere of "Made" (MTV, 10 p.m. EDT).
-- Scott Lamb