The Fix

Dream feud: Olsens vs. Hiltons. Yoko and Paul, still swiping at each other. Plus: Richard Lewis on sex after 50

Published October 18, 2005 1:00PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Madonna, high priestess: First, she admits to getting all Gwyneth Paltrow about her kids' food and media intake. Now Madonna is getting preachy about "the world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we're enslaved by it." In her tour documentary, "I'm Going to Tell You a Secret," Madge goes off on an entity called "The Beast," saying, "I feel I am describing the world that we live in right now," and also describes most priests as "gay." The Daily News quotes Catholic League President William Donohue on her changed view of the material world: "For her to have this sudden wakeup call -- that the kind of behavior for which she is infamous is not salutary for young people -- is refreshing." But he's not so happy about her priest quip. "We're glad to see she is no longer with us," he says, referring to her Catholicism to Kabbalah switch. "Jews will have to make up their own mind about whether they're going to welcome her. Lots of them don't want to." You can see the clip preview here. (N.Y. Daily News, VH1)

Yoko, oh no: At the Q music awards in London last week, Yoko Ono seemed to take an odd swipe at Paul McCartney, recounting a story about the time hubby John Lennon asked her why "they always cover Paul's songs and never mine." "I said, 'You're a good songwriter, it's not June with Spoon that you write," Ono said, referring to a McCartney rhyme. "'You're a good singer and most musicians are probably a little bit nervous about covering your songs.'" Now Paul has fired back, in a typically understated way: "I don't think she's the brightest of buttons. I don't want to get in a bun fight but she's said some particularly daft things in her time." Trying hard not to say anything unduly nasty, he confined himself to, "Yoko is something else. Her life is dedicated to putting me down, that's what she seems to do all the time. But she will notice that I attempt very strongly not to put her down, I have respect for her as my former comrade's wife." (The Scoop, Yahoo! News)

Cage match -- Olsens vs. Hiltons: This is a celebrity feud that gossip magazines can only dream about: the Hilton sisters poaching the Olsen twins' men. The Paris-Stavros Niarchos-Mary-Kate connection is old news, but now there's talk about little sister Nicky getting into the act with another Mary-Kate castoff, David Katzenberg. An insider "friend" tells Ananova, "Ashley fears that Mary-Kate is just not going to be able to handle losing Stavros to Paris. But Paris and Nicky are used to getting what they want -- when they want." (Ananova)

It's official: Norman Pearlstine, editor in chief at Time and the man behind the decision to hand over Matthew Cooper's notes in the Plame investigation, announced yesterday that he's stepping down come January. He's leaving after 11 years, according to the announcement memo, to work on a book about the use and misuse of anonymous sources. But Time readers won't notice the difference. "I don't think you'll see a lot of change," said Don Logan, chairman of Time Warner media and communications. "It's an orderly transition that has been planned out and thought out for some time" ... Paris Hilton, blithely undeterred by Fox's dropping her and former friend Nicole Richie's show "The Simple Life," says she'll still be filming next month. "We're shooting Nov. 1," she said. "All the networks are fighting over it." While there have been rumors other networks might be interested, there's been no offer as yet. There's also been talk of replacing Richie with Paris pal Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod. And Paris has apparently decided that Chihuahuas are too large for fashion, opting to accessorize with ferrets instead ... A rock star going back to college, and it doesn't involve a reality TV show? Rivers Cuomo is heading back to Harvard to finish an English lit degree in February, after a seven-year leave of absence. He says he's going to stay in the dorms ... Robert Blake is continuing his court antics in the civil case against him for Bonnie Lee Bakley's death, claiming during his testimony yesterday that he in fact had three witnesses to his alibi, though the information didn't come up during his earlier murder trial (in which he was acquitted) ... In a grisly case the New York Post has dubbed the "Great Gatsby" murder, an as yet unidentified young woman was found beaten to death just down the road from the historic Long Island mansion, Lands End, that F. Scott Fitzgerald used as a basis for Daisy Buchanan's estate in his novel. At a press conference yesterday, police said they had no leads for possible suspects and had not been able to establish the identity of the woman.

Money Quote:
Richard Lewis, on sex after 50: "First of all," he said, "you know, when you worry about your knee, your trick knee, two bad disks and your lower belly, you're not leaping into bed like it's Woodstock. You cover up. I wear religious artifacts oftentimes ... My DNA is crumbling -- I probably, literally just have a D and a half an N left," he said. "How my wife can even look at me? No work done, so I'm like the original package here and it's not a pretty sight." (Boldface)

Charlize Theron on the baby-naming fad her success has spurred in her native country: "Somebody told me that now every one out of three baby girls born in South Africa is being named Charlize." (

Turn On:
Bill O'Reilly visits "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT), plus a music special doubleheader: everything you've ever wanted to know about the rapper on "100% With Kanye West" (Fuse, 9 p.m. EDT) and "WomenRock! Our Journey With Melissa Etheridge" (Lifetime, 11 p.m. EDT), which profiles Etheridge and her struggle against breast cancer.

-- Scott Lamb

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