Sticky buns

Armed with Super Glue, a woman works over her ex-boyfriend.

Published November 4, 2005 6:46PM (EST)

We'll likely never know what, exactly, happened between Kenneth Slaby and Gail O'Toole when they met, apparently some months after breaking up, on a fateful night in May 2000. We do know that Kenneth Slaby emerged from his ex-girlfriend's house with his genitals stuck to his stomach with Super Glue, the two halves of his behind likewise glued together, and a profanity scrawled on his back in nail polish. We don't know whether this was a new twist in bondage play between consenting adults, as O'Toole's lawyer claims, or revenge by O'Toole for a painful breakup. (Though Broadsheet will admit that one of those scenarios seems more likely than the other.)

It's a typical case of "he said, she said," but the stakes are high: The Associated Press reports today that Slaby is suing O'Toole for some $30,000 over the incident. (Don't you wonder how he settled on that figure?) Although Slaby wasn't permanently injured (whew!) and O'Toole has already served six months' probation after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge, Slaby is after more.

Broadsheet doesn't aim to point fingers; we aren't judges, after all. But we do tend to agree with O'Toole's attorney about one thing: This is one case we wish had been left in the bedroom. Just thinking about it hurts.

By Hillary Frey

Hillary Frey is the Books editor at Salon.

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