Have a wrinkle-free holiday!

This seasons hottest gifts include Botox gift certificates and vouchers for hand vein removal.


Lori Leibovich
December 7, 2005 12:01AM (UTC)

Having trouble figuring out what to get for the aging women on your holiday shopping list? How about some nice botulism poison. Or maybe some lunchtime lipo. Or, for that really special someone, why not pony up for hand-vein removal? According to the Village Voice, gift certificates for these and other cosmetic treatments are hot this year.

Dissolving "big, blue hand ropes" is apparently a priority among "women who've already had their faces done and fear their hands will give away their ages." Luckily their thoughtful husbands are gobbling up gift certificates from the office of New York vein specialist Lee Schulman, whose nurses are encouraging him to print up gift cards. Because nothing says "Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Men" more than ripping open your hands for vanity's sake.

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Oh, and don't worry about offending the gift recipient. Rather than presenting a lipo certificate with a note that says, "You seem to be jiggling more than usual lately -- Merry Christmas!" you can purchase a voucher for "aesthetician" services. Though as Dr. Michael Kane, "Botox king of the Upper East Side," says, clients often buy these more discreet certificates "knowing full well," the Voice says, "the giftee couldn't care less about a deep-cleansing facial and will just use it to suck out some chin and neck fat."

Happy holidays!


Lori Leibovich

Lori Leibovich is a contributing editor at Salon and the former editor of the Life section.

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