Put your infants to work

After all, shouldn't they earn their keep?

By Lori Leibovich
Published December 12, 2005 10:07PM (EST)

Here's a gift idea for the new parent on your holiday list: Lisa Brown's hilarious and beautifully packaged board books "Baby Make Me Breakfast" and "Baby Mix Me a Drink" (McSweeney's).

"Too many of us allow our infant sons and daughters to lie about idly: napping, drinking milk, and whatnot," the press release says. "Through basic shapes and colors, these two board books teach your precious little angels to be useful, at long last." (Hey, instead of banning tots, maybe that Brooklyn bartender should just put them to work.) Brown's drink guide includes simple, colorful diagrams for how to make Mama's Martini, Daddy's Margarita, Grandma's Bloody Mary, Grandpa's Old-Fashioned and Nanny's Champagne Cocktail. The breakfast booklet includes easy recipes for grapefruit, soft-boiled eggs, toast and, most important, coffee.

Just for fun, I put the drink manual in my son's chubby hands to see if it might inspire him to whip up a vodka gimlet or, at the very least, uncork me a bottle of wine. Instead he pointed at the martini glass and said, "Juice?"

Buy both books on the McSweeney's Web site, and they'll even thrown in a few coasters.

Lori Leibovich

Lori Leibovich is a contributing editor at Salon and the former editor of the Life section.

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