MSNBC gossip columnist Jeannette Walls is reporting this morning that in a track left off Madonna's new album, "Confessions on a Dance Floor," the only British aristocrat ever born in Detroit makes some pretty awesome claims about herself.
Some of the lyrics to "Super Pop," which is available for download to members of her fan club, include claims like "If I was a car, I'd be an Aston Martin/If I was a genius, I'd be Isaac Newton ... If I was a star I would be who I am today/If I was a fighter, I'd be Cassius Clay/If I was emotion, I would be intense/If I was a man, I would be president.
Walls doesn't include in her report another verse in which Madonna returns to the intersection between gender and the executive branch. "If I was an animal, I'd be a dog/If I was a dog, I would be a man/If I was a man, I'd be the president/If I was the president, I'd be different."
Walls writes that "some have defended the rather self-lauding lyrics as ironic or humorous." But why do they need a defense? Come on. She's probably right.
Except of course that if she'd been a man, all that onstage masturbation probably wouldn't have caused such a stir.