Ralph Reed gets stuck with smut

While the former Christian Coalition director polices "indecent" content on the Web, his spokeswoman writes a weekly Internet column about her sex-capades!

By Sarah Karnasiewicz

Published December 23, 2005 4:40PM (EST)

Oh, goodie! Just in time for Christmas, this great gift of a tipoff arrived in Broadsheet's in box: Think Progress yesterday reported that Ralph Reed -- crusader against Internet "smut," former Christian Coalition director and one-time Jack Abramhoff buddy -- might need to be a bit more careful about the company he keeps. It seems that at the same time that Reed was railing against all the indecent trash littering the Web, his own spokeswoman, Lisa Baron, was heaping her own dirty scribblings onto the pile. In a series of columns that ran online for Atlanta's Sunday paper, Baron waxed on about the state of her cooter and the fiery fantasies she harbors for her fitness instructor. Here are some of Baron's choicest cuts, courtesy of Think Progress -- but as Reed would no doubt want us to mention, the following content may not be appropriate for children:

"There was a ho in my hotel. A real-live booty-shaking, rump-selling, shaggarific, cash (or check) taking, living cesspool of questionable life choices right there, smack dab in the middle of our lives and about to enter the Los Angeles hotel where we were staying. It was awesome."

"I swear I dont have a big vagina, but over the Thanksgiving holiday, I told my father-in-law I did."

"Jimmy says that bisexual plumbers are not a good enough reason to move to San Diego."

"Jimmy thinks that because I refer to my bootcamp instructor, John, as my knight-in-shining-black-chocolate, that I want to have tantric, rabid, back-breaking, aerobic, primal, lengthy, suspended-from-the-ceiling, extracurricular, shout-it-from-the-hill-tops sex with him."

Who knew hanging out with conservative Christians could get so hot?

Sarah Karnasiewicz

Sarah Karnasiewicz is a freelance writer and photographer based in Brooklyn, N.Y. Until recently, she was senior editor at Saveur magazine; prior to that she was deputy Life editor at Salon. She has contributed to the New York Times, the New York Observer and Rolling Stone, among other publications. For more of her work, visit thefastertimes.com/streetfood and Signs and Wonders.

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