Bye-bye, baby

What was the final straw in your relationship? Table Talkers share the lines that spelled the end of the affair, this week.

Salon Staff
February 24, 2006 4:48PM (UTC)

Private Life

The Comment That Made Him/Her an Ex.

Tessie - 07:22 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006

"We're too old to worry about being sexy anymore."

"This brain tumor of yours is happening at a really bad time for me; I've got a lot going on at work right now."


"How can you be unhappy? I have everything I want."

Yes, these are actual comments made to me by my actual ex. What are yours?

Blue Bunny - 07:40 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #1 of 192

"I want to watch you have sex with someone else."

"Can you give me those earrings so I can give them to my next girlfriend?"

"No one will ever love you but me."

Tinsel - 07:44 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #3 of 192

"I'd take you home to meet my parents, but they'd wonder what the attraction was."

jenbynight - 08:05 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #10 of 192

"I put you on the spreadsheet, but you'll be in a parenthetical until we have sex." -- from the guy that keeps a spreadsheet of the women he's dated/flirted with/etc., so he can keep them straight in his head.


I'm still in a parenthetical, thank you very much.

JoMN - 08:37 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #18 of 192

"You know, you dress like someone a lot fatter than you really are."

Aspidistra - 08:43 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #20 of 192

If we got married, I could move out of my parents' house and I'd save a lot on car insurance.

cjgriffin - 10:20 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #41 of 192

"At your weight, there aren't that many guys who would want you."

c-beth - 10:53 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #47 of 192

"I have feelings ... deep feelings ... for you. But, now, I have to TRANSFER those feelings to someone else. Thanks for understanding."


greenjay - 11:10 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #52 of 192

"Will you finish my taxes before we file for divorce?"

Tessie - 11:37 am Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #68 of 192

"Did you notice I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day?"

"You've never gotten me anything for Valentine's Day."


"Yes, but this time, I deliberately didn't get you anything."

EllaL - 12:19 pm Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #87 of 192

From my one and only experience dating a Catholic boy in high school:

"My relationship with you is interfering with my relationship with God."


So sorry to get in the way...

Bonita - 01:26 pm Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #107 of 192

Me: "I'm going to my parent's house -- my mom's only got a few more hours to live and I want to be with her."

Him: "Uh, I've got tickets to the drag races. Mind if I go there while you're at your mom's?"


Maneki Neko - 02:25 pm Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #120 of 192

Oh, I totally forgot senior prom (my date wasn't my boyfriend, but I wanted him to be):

Him: "I like you and I think you're attractive. But I can't hang out with you because, well, there's this social hierarchy at our school, which is unfortunate, but basically, I can't be seen in public with you."

Calif Transplant - 03:22 pm Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #134 of 192


Me, observing him gazing at me in an odd manner: "What are you thinking about? Why are you staring at me?"

Him: "I'm just thinking about how flawed you are."

Calamity Jeanne - 05:36 pm Pacific Time - Feb 22, 2006 - #151 of 192

Him, on our third date (we've been out for drinks and are now sitting in his apartment, having just smoked some extremely good weed): Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you: Don't get too attached to me. I have other girlfriends.


Me, getting up and putting on my jacket: Is that right? OK, I won't. See ya. Bye.


Posts of the week is an ongoing feature of Table Talk, Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found here in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.

Salon Staff

MORE FROM Salon Staff


Read Now, Pay Later - no upfront
registration for 1-Hour Access

Click Here
7-Day Access and Monthly
Subscriptions also available
No tracking or personal data collection
beyond name and email address


Fearless journalism
in your inbox every day

Sign up for our free newsletter

• • •