The Fix

Mr. Britney tells media to "kiss a d---." Frey flees to France. Plus: "George Clooney for President!"

Salon Staff
March 22, 2006 7:30PM (UTC)

Morning Briefing:
Kevin Federline charms again: With his record still apparently set to come out sometime, Kevin Federline has launched a preemptive strike against the press. His new song, available on his MySpace profile, is called "Fuck the Media," and lets us know that his earlier song, "PopoZao," was meant as a red herring. Federline's critical take on the press: "And you magazine motherfuckers, too, you can kiss a dick. Us Weekly, I'll shout every one of you bitches out. All your shit is fake." (Via Perez Hilton)

The people want Clooney: George Clooney hasn't expressed any interest in actually running for the office, but that hasn't stopped the launch of the Clooney collection, a line of T-shirts and undies aimed at the hordes of can't-get-enough Clooney fans. The clothes come with a range of three slogans, from the obvious "George Clooney for President" to "By George! Clooney for President" and "Keep the George, Lose the Bush." (Us Online)


Frey flees: It seems the pressure of being a world-famous fabricator is proving too much for James Frey. A spy tells Page Six that the author has fled New York and decamped to somewhere in the South of France to get away from the constant reminder of his public shaming on "Oprah." "It seems he's starting to crack -- unable to meet the stares and steady murmur of 'Oprah, Oprah, Oprah' that follow him everywhere in New York," says the source. "His SoHo apartment sits empty. His Amagansett beach house sits empty. Let's just hope that there is a church basement with hot coffee and an AA meeting over there for when things get really bad." (Page Six)

Best/worst magazine covers, 2005: Taking a look at how magazines fared in 2005, one trend is clear: Talent does not equal sales. While covers featuring Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson were top sellers, issues with Reese Witherspoon and Natalie Portman sold the worst. A Britney Spears cover was Allure's best seller of the year, while its Hilary Swank issue was its worst. Tom Cruise, at the height of his summer of madness, was Details' biggest seller, while Jamie Foxx was GQ's lowest, back in January. (Media Industry Newsletter)

The Hilton sisters are reportedly creating a cartoon series about ... their own lives. (The Sun) ... Over the weekend, Arianna Huffington apologized to readers for not pointing out that George Clooney's blog post on her site was not so much his writing as a compilation of his quotes. And while she acknowledged on Monday that it has been a "major lesson learned," Clooney's rep points out there may be one more apology left: "An apology to the readers was appropriate. But to my knowledge, she has not apologized to George." (Associated Press) ... Steven Tyler is going under the knife for throat surgery this week, meaning Aerosmith is canceling the last 12 dates on their current North American tour. (BBC) ... Boldface has the bizarre full account of the night David Spade was stun-gunned by a former assistant during an attempted robbery in 2000, a story that ends with a bloodied Spade pulling out the shotgun he keeps underneath his bed. (Boldface) ... Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke turned down a chance to meet with British Prime Minister Tony Blair about environmental issues after getting "freaked out." "It was like talking to Blair's spin doctors. It was all getting weird. It was just obvious there was no point in meeting him anyway, and I didn't want to," Yorke told NME, saying he's reconsidering his role as an activist. "I came out of that whole period just thinking, I don't want to get involved directly; it's poison. I'll just shout my mouth off from the sidelines."(NME via Associated Press) ... Julia Louis-Dreyfus may have shaken the "Seinfeld" curse: Her show, "The New Adventures of Old Christine," is doing very well in its Monday evening time slot on CBS, with an average of 15.1 million viewers this week. (Hollywood Reporter)


Money Quotes:
Salma Hayek on how Colin Farrell, her costar in "Ask the Dust," got her to laugh before shooting a nude scene: "I finally came out of the dressing room, all covered up and Colin's completely naked, jumping around in the sand doing ballet dances. I started laughing and it relaxed me." (London Mirror via the Scoop)

Kelly Osbourne on how she's not exactly a fan of the Primrose Hill set, the group of London-based celebrities that includes Sadie Frost and Kate Moss: "I'd rather eat my own shit than be part of the Primrose Hill set. I think it's disgusting what Sadie Frost and that lot get up to. They are like: 'Let's sleep with each other's boyfriends and husbands, but let's still be friends and go clubbing.'" (3 a.m. Girls)

-- Scott Lamb


Turn On:
Premieres galore: On Fox, nine strangers must unanimously decide which of them gets $1.5 million or they lose it all on "Unan1mous" (9:30 p.m. EST), while NBC launches its new drama "Heist" (10 p.m. EST) and ABC challenges viewers to solve an unfolding crime before the show's characters do on "The Evidence" (10 p.m. EST). On Comedy Central, the 10th season of "South Park" premieres (10 p.m. EST) with an episode called "The Return of Chef!" as does the second season of "Mind of Mencia" (10:30 p.m. EST).

-- Joe DiMento


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