You know, sometimes I feel incredibly naive. Yesterday, I read a little blurb in the paper about how when Rosie O'Donnell joins "The View" as Meredith Viera's replacement, there will be a clause that she can't cut her hair. Huh, I thought to myself. That's weird, because I've never really considered O'Donnell's coiffure to be her defining feature, like, say, Veronica Lake's or "Felicity's." I wonder why they care about her hair, I said vacantly to myself, turning the page.
Well, thanks to Roger Friedman at Fox News and Jessica at Feministing: I get it. And yes, I feel dumb, and totally horrified. Not cutting O'Donnell's hair isn't so much about maintaining her long locks as it is about preventing her from going too short and, you know, gay. As Friedman puts it, "ABC apparently wants Rosie to look as glamorous as possible when she sits down ... among Joy Behar, Star Jones, and Debbie Hasselbeck." Glamorous, see. Never mind that Behar has had short hair for most of her tenure on the show.
As Jessica puts it, "Maybe they'll also make [O'Donnell] sport mini skirts and make out with male guests."