Rarely do we get convincing evidence that a celebrity is a true cretin, but after seeing this video, why can't we feel pride in hating Brandon Davis with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns? Why? Davis is a Hollywood hanger-on, his only real claim is that he's "the grandson of the late billionaire Marvin Davis," which is how he's always ID'd. His principle occupation appears to be dating starlets. But in this notorious video shot earlier this month -- in which he drunkenly trash-talks Lindsay Lohan, as celebutard Paris Hilton giggles along -- he decides that instead of being an in-bred child of privilege, he's actually a great wit. It's not his attacks on Lohan that condemn him ("fire crotch" is his genius put-down), it's his pompous rich-boy act. Referring to Wilmer Valderrama, Lohan's ex, he asks, "Is he in a mariachi band?" Then, near the end, he enjoys talking about Lohan's net worth: "I think she's worth about $7 million, which means she's really poor. It's disgusting." Thank you, paparazzi, for delightfully fulfilling the long-held stereotypes of dumb, bloated rich boys we've always held so dear.
Here's the video, and below that, a more recent one of a worked-up Lohan fan heckling Davis outside another club. We loved: "Lindsay Lohan earns her money and you get it from daddy!" (We're also pretty sure we heard her being interveiwed by Bruno.)