The Fix

Preparations afoot for Jolie-Pitt clan's U.S. return. Alba wins "Sexist Performance"? Plus: Three words you should never, ever say to Russell Crowe.

Published June 9, 2006 1:30PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Malibu for the Jolie-Pitt clan: With their Namibia adventure coming to a close, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their brood are headed back to the good ol' U.S. of A. this weekend, at least if the preparations at Pitt's Malibu house are any sign. TMZ's account of the activity going on to get the estate ready is full of the kind of complications that come with celebrity child-rearing: Rigging a massive play tent on the tennis court for Maddox and his toys, carting in boxes of expensive liquor and trying to make your collection of modern art and designer furniture kid-proof: According to TMZ's source, everyone "is wondering what [Pitts]'s going to do when the kids start destroying it." (TMZ)

We didn't even realize they had that category:

(Us Weekly)

Confessions of Russell Crowe's media stooge: The Sydney Morning Herald has a long (13 pages) but fascinating-like-a-train-wreck article from an Australian journalist and his time playing P.R. mole for Russell Crowe's musical career. After being approached and, initially, charmed by Crowe's offer to be a "champion" for his music in the press -- a one-man "guerrilla publicist" -- things inevitably went south between Crowe and the writer, Jack Marx. Among many little gems, we learn the reportedly real reason Crowe threw a phone at a New York hotel staffer: "The concierge had said: 'Yeah, yeah, whatever' -- words, according to Crowe, that constitute the 'lowest insult' one can deliver, tantamount to 'you are nothing to me, you do not matter.' And if you're going to utter those words to another man in these quick-tempered times, said Crowe, you'd better be prepared to put up your dukes." After Marx wrote an article about "Cinderella Man" Crowe didn't like, he severed the relationship with a three-word e-mail: "Yeah, yeah, whatever." (Sydney Morning Herald)

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have turned into an item, at least according to the latest rumors from Los Angeles. A source tells People, "They are very happy." (People) ... Barbra Streisand is going on tour in the U.S. this fall for the first time in a decade, and she's doing it for the good of all mankind: "The increasingly urgent need for private citizen support to combat dangerous climate change, along with education and health issues was the prime reason I decided to tour again." (Reuters) ... Cybill Shepherd has announced she'll be joining the cast of "The L Word" for the show's fourth season. (Associated Press) ... She may wear Jean-Paul Gaultier onstage, but offstage, for the rest of her current tour, Madonna -- and her entire "Confessions" crew -- will be sporting the cheap-chic threads of H&M. (Daily Dish) ... Pete Doherty's apparently in drug rehab in Portugal, and according to his lawyer, it's all "going well. "(BBC News)

Money Quote:
Lauren Bush, introducing Bill Clinton at Princeton's graduation ceremony this week: "Our class was so excited to hear that Clinton was coming to give the commencement speech this year -- of course, they were expecting Hillary!" (Page Six)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
On Friday, the World Cup kicks off with Germany vs. Costa Rica (ESPN2, noon EDT) and three shows wrap up their seasons: "Doctor Who" (Sci Fi, 9 p.m. EDT), "The Chelsea Handler Show" (E!, 10:30 p.m. EDT) and "Degrassi: The Next Generation" (The N, 8 p.m. EDT). Saturday, MTV2 begins a new season of "Celebrity Deathmatch" (12 p.m. EDT), while NBC airs the Stanley Cup Finals (8 p.m. EDT). Sunday, HBO kicks off new seasons of "Deadwood" (9 p.m. EDT) and "Entourage" (10 p.m. EDT), and debuts two new shows, "Lucky Louie" (10:30 p.m. EDT) and "Dane Cook's Tourgasm" (11 p.m. EDT). Also, USA premieres a new season of "The 4,400" (9 p.m. EDT), and CBS presents the "60th Annual Tony Awards" (8 p.m. EDT).

On the Talk Shows:
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): Special episode on San Quentin
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Brian Lehrer with Noam Chomsky
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Michael Keaton, Wolfmother
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Nicole Richie, Louis C.K., Poison
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Denis Leary, Rita Wilson, Brandi Carlisle
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Tom Everett Scott, Ludacris, Speech

-- Lamar Clarkson

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