Gossip columnist calls "bump" b.s.

Female anatomy with Liz Smith.

Published June 27, 2006 12:07PM (EDT)

Members of the celebrity gossip mill don't often compose sentences (about Britney's dye job, say, or Janet Jackson's weight loss) that I feel like lauding in Broadsheet, but when I read Liz Smith yesterday, I felt I had to give her credit. It's short, it's sweet, and it should puncture some anatomical assumptions held by readers of Smith's nationally syndicated column for about 35 seconds, or until they pick up their next issue of Us, whichever comes first. But in riffing on some recent criticism on how we fetishize celebrity babies, Smith momentarily sank her teeth into speculation about Jennifer Aniston's purported pregnancy, all of which has been based on a supposed "bump" in her taut belly.

"The recent magazine charting of Jennifer Aniston's 'bump' is close to revolting," wrote Smith. "I haven't the foggiest if Miss A. is pregnant, but let me be the first to inform the people who gauge such things that not all women have concave bellies. In fact, most women don't. Not even in Hollywood. Not even the very slim and toned Jennifer."

Seriously, thanks for clearing that up.

By Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister writes for Salon. She is the author of "Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women" (Free Press). Follow @rtraister on Twitter.

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