The Fix

Cruise-Holmes baby's birth certificate examined for clues. Jessica Simpson insists she's "not dating." Plus: Keith Richards explains humor of tree fall.

Published July 11, 2006 1:30PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Suri's suspicious certificate: Because nothing is ever straightforward when Tom Cruise is involved, his daughter Suri's recently unearthed birth certificate is raising questions. As the only as-yet tangible proof of Suri's existence, the certificate, which TMZ turned up at the Los Angeles county clerk's office, bears a heavy burden, but as the site points out, there are a few oddities: It took twice the usual time to be filed, the signature needed from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth is an illegible scrawl attributed to a "friend," and the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed it was a nurse named Anne Heffernan, who wasn't in the delivery room and didn't see the baby. And while Katie Holmes has yet to announce an official name change, she's listed on the birth certificate as Kate Holmes, apparently her Cruise-approved moniker. (TMZ)

Simpson maintains singlehood: Despite the rumors linking her to Zach Braff and/or comedian Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson insists she has stayed single since splitting with Nick Lachey. "I don't feel right about dating yet," she told OK in a recent interview. She does come out and say she "dreams" about Brad Pitt, but maintains that Cook is just "one of my dear friends." (OK via the Scoop)

Chan practicing Drunken Monkey-style in public? During a concert on Tuesday in Hong Kong by singer-songwriter Jonathan Lee, a reportedly drunken Jackie Chan jumped onstage, demanded a duet with Lee and fitfully tried to conduct the backing band. The Associated Press reports, "As the awkward interruption dragged on, audience members started to heckle Chan and the actor replied with an insult." (Associated Press via Yahoo! News)

Speculative celebrity couple du jour: Sienna Miller and James Franco, rumored to have hooked up while filming a new movie together in Toronto. (TMZ) ... Katie Couric's on a six-city tour of folksy town hall meetings this week, but according to Lowdown, CBS has banned the press from attending. (Lowdown) ... When Dan Rather appeared on "Anderson Cooper 360" last week, he requested specifically not to be identified on-screen as a former CBS anchor. ( ... June Allyson, 1950s film star, died on Saturday in California. She was 88. (Associated Press) ... Bob Dylan is headed to Broadway: "The Times They Are a-Changin'," a musical composed of Dylan songs and choreographed by Twyla Tharp, is set to open in the fall. (The Hollywood Reporter) ... It was only a matter of time: Coming sometime to a channel near you, a "The Devil Wears Prada"-inspired reality show, "The Assistants." (Jossip)

Money Quote:
Keith Richards on the palm tree he took a dive from in Fiji: "If you saw the tree, you'd realize the joke. Fiji is not just made of coconut trees. It was a little tree." (Associated Press)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
"City of God" spinoff "City of Men" (Sundance, 9 p.m. EDT) kicks off a new season, and "Road Tasted" (Food, 10 p.m. EDT), led by hosts Jamie and Bobby Deen, makes its debut. Also, PBS begins a new season of "Wide Angle" (check local listings) with a look at a Central American gang, and airs "Tintin and I" (check local listings), a documentary by filmmaker Anders Østergaard featuring a rare 1971 interview with Tintin creator Georges Remi (aka Hergé).

On the Talk Shows:
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): A look at the philosophy that created Warren Buffett's wealth
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Paul Reubens, Yunjin Kim, Nelly Furtado
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Owen Wilson, Lance Armstrong, Chris Isaak
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Brian Posehn, Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Julie Chen, Denise Mina, Echo & the Bunnymen
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Tracy Morgan, Shaun Alexander, Sonic Youth
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): John Dean
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Tony Hawk

-- Lamar Clarkson

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By Salon Staff

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