The Fix

Bush gets shot in faux doc, and Simpson gets much-needed swag. Plus: Gore cracks wise at MTV Awards.

Published September 1, 2006 1:43PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Simpson nabs swag at some sort of awards show: Because she can't possibly afford $4,000 worth of denim on her own, a voiceless Jessica Simpson (she's on vocal rest, remember) went on a swag binge in Manhattan on Thursday, picking up thousands of dollars' worth of jewelry and clothing and walking away with the keys to a Chrysler Crossfire SRT-6 convertible -- she won them in a grab-bag prize. What with the IRS threatening to "crack down" on goodie bags this year, Simpson's publicist soberly insisted that she will be giving away all the loot to charity. (Though we ask you: Does this really look like the face of a woman about to part with her new car?) The occasion for the spree was MTV's Video Music Awards, a show now so vapid not even the Associated Press is pretending to care anymore. The only interesting moment of the night took place outside the venue with Mos Def's apparently illegal impromptu performance outside the VMAs, where he got about halfway through his song "Katrina Clap," about New Orleans and President Bush's failed response, before police hauled him away. (On the off-chance you'd like to see the winners, there's a full list of them here.) (Associated Press, ContactMusic)

Lohan getting hitched? Harry Morton, the well-to-do 25-year-old who has been seeing a lot of Lindsay Lohan lately (and who, if press releases sent out by her publicist are to be believed, has had a healthy, calming influence on her), is reportedly gearing up to pop the question. He was snapped recently ring shopping at Cartier, and has now spirited away Lohan to Hawaii for a little vacay, where gossip-mongers say he'll get down on one knee. (Splash News Online)

Bush faux-assassinated in mockumentary: Debuting at the Toronto Film Festival next week, a new movie mixing archival imagery and digital manipulation centers around the assassination of President Bush. The British film, "Death of a President" (aka "DoaP"), depicts Bush being shot by a sniper in Chicago in 2007 -- the movie's set up as a documentary investigating the killing several years later. Unexpectedly, the Republican Party in Texas just can't get behind the movie. "I find this shocking, I find it disturbing," a party spokeswoman said. "I don't know if there are many people in America who would want to watch something like that." (Canada National Post, BBC News)

In other assassination news: The upcoming sequel to "The Hebrew Hammer" opens with Mel Gibson getting whacked -- shot in the head by the title character, a Jewish superhero, Gibson sprays a bloody Star of David onto the windshield of his car. (Post Chronicle) ... Coca-Cola, Home Depot, UPS and Campbell Soup have all joined suit with General Motors in announcing they've dropped advertising with this season's "Survivor." (Hollywood Wiretap) ... Candy Spelling, the wife of late producer Aaron and evil stepmom to Tori, has reportedly sold the Los Angeles mansion the couple shared for $130 million, not a penny of which Tori is expected to see. (TMZ) ... At 66, Martin Sheen is heading back to college to finally get his B.A. -- he has enrolled at the National University of Ireland in Galway and starts classes there next week. (Page Six)

Money Quote:
Al Gore on why he decided to take part in MTV's Video Music Awards: "I actually was not intending to be here tonight, but then MTV explained that Justin Timberlake was bringing sexy back." (Yahoo! News)

Turn On:
The blue-collar comedian returns with "Foxworthy's Big Night Out" (CMT, 8:30 p.m. EDT), a sketch comedy show featuring country artists like Kenny Rogers. On Sunday, catch the first of a wave of 9/11 TV specials, "Inside the Twin Towers" (Discovery, 9 p.m. EDT), which takes an occasionally lurid look at what happened at the World Trade Center on 9/11.

On the Talk Shows:
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Joe Paterno, Karen Van Lengen (repeat)
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Al Franken, Todd Snider
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Brooke Shields, Jerome Bettis, Foo Fighters
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): LL Cool J, Mo Rocca, Jimmy Carr (repeat)
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Kevin Smith, Carrie Ann Inaba, Seether (repeat)
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Michael Rapaport, Jimmie Johnson, Jo Koy, Wayman Tisdale

-- Scott Lamb

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