Notes on a breakup

It's never easy getting dumped. Table Talkers explain why getting it in writing makes it worse.


Salon Staff
November 23, 2006 12:45AM (UTC)

Private Life

Dumper ... or Dumpee? Creative breakups.

Shades of V - 12:59 pm Pacific Time - Nov 20, 2006

"I'm sorry...I can't...don't hate me..." Berger, "Sex and the City" via Post-it.

In the spirit of Britney reportedly dumping K-Fed in a text message, I thought this one would be fun, and I hope I'm not replicating anyone here. Please share your funny, heartbreaking, maddening breakup stories here.

Advertisement:

A few years back, my ex-fiancé was kind enough to tell me (via telephone) that he'd changed his mind and didn't want to marry me. For good measure, he threw in that he'd had this revelation after a cathartic weekend of drinking with his buddies ... he wasn't done sowing his oats. Being the kind, understanding woman that I am I calmly told him that was fine and that he could have the ring back. I returned it to him ... after it had a visit at my father's garage. It's amazing what a highly powered blowtorch can do.

Blue Bunny - 02:28 pm Pacific Time - Nov 20, 2006 - #2 of 14

My second ex-husband left a note on the table rather than wait until I got off the phone with my mother to tell me that he was spending the weekend in Vegas with Tartietwat so that I could get my head together.

I hate very few people, but he's definitely at the top of my list.

Kady G - 06:20 pm Pacific Time - Nov 20, 2006 - #4 of 14

I once spent an entire day with a guy I was having a little summer thing with. At the end of the day he told me that we needed to break up because he "had more fun with other people."

Advertisement:

OK, if you say so.

Some time later I was wondering which breakup lines he rejected if that was the best he could come up with.

Eleanor Rigby - 08:45 pm Pacific Time - Nov 20, 2006 - #5 of 14

I had a guy in high school dump me because apparently he made a deathbed promise to his grandmother that he wouldn't get seriously involved with anyone while still in school.

Of course, when I heard from a mutual friend later that said grandma was alive and well, the excuse lost a little luster.

pwr2theppl - 11:50 am Pacific Time - Nov 21, 2006 - #7 of 14

In high school I dated a boy for a few weeks that broke up with me via letter (postal service, not e-mail). The letter took a couple of days to get to me and every time I saw him he'd say, "Did you look at the mail yet?"

Advertisement:

Jenni P - 01:49 pm Pacific Time - Nov 21, 2006 - #10 of 14

Hey Power, I kid you not - I was going to post about friends who were dating and the guy mailed her a letter (snail mail) to break up. They were in their late 20's!! It was unbelievable. We don't see the girl anymore, but the guy is a childhood friend of my husband's and we see him all the time (and we are now all turning 40). We never miss a chance to tease him about that lame move. When he proposed to the woman who is now his wife, we told him he should mail her a proposal.

shaughnie - 08:38 pm Pacific Time - Nov 21, 2006 - #13 of 14

Advertisement:

a guy i was casually dating called me at work on valentine's day to tell me that he had met someone else ... and his name was keith.

Kady G - 02:29 am Pacific Time - Nov 22, 2006 - #14 of 14

Notes: A college buddy of mine broke up with his girlfriend of three months (he always dumped them between three and four months in) by note. Which he gave her in the kitchen and then went into the living room while she read it.

Advertisement:

I felt bad for that poor girl. We gave him shit about that for months.

What is it with men and notes? I've heard of a woman dumping a guy via mail without a really good reason.

Posts of the week is an ongoing feature of Table Talk, Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found here in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.


Salon Staff

MORE FROM Salon Staff

BROWSE SALON.COM
COMPLETELY AD FREE,
FOR THE NEXT HOUR

Read Now, Pay Later - no upfront
registration for 1-Hour Access

Click Here
7-Day Access and Monthly
Subscriptions also available
No tracking or personal data collection
beyond name and email address

•••





Fearless journalism
in your inbox every day

Sign up for our free newsletter

• • •