Zune: I am brown -- I am invincible

India strikes back against those who disrespect Microsoft's tint of sepia.

Published December 19, 2006 12:45AM (EST)

Sales of Microsoft's MP3 player, Zune, have been disappointing, but don't blame it on the controversial decision to offer the device in the shade of brown, says Ultrabrown blogger Manish Vij.

White geek bloggers have been defecating all over the brown Zune, declaring that it looks like, well, a "brick of shit." A little digging around Technorati indicates that, yes, critical reaction has been less than favorable -- though it should be noted that according to available sales figures via Amazon, brown Zunes aren't selling anywhere nearly as badly as the white models. But Manish isn't having any of it: "This brown-is-dirty meme needs to be nipped in the bud," he declares.

Brown is an earth tone, the color of sourdough, pizza crust, cookies, chocolate, cinnamon, crepes, Cuban cigars, suede, corduroys, khakis, camouflage, spotted fawns, natural sugar, UPS, hipster tees, brown paper packages tied up with strings, the skins of potatoes and subcontinentals. When the Gorebot needed to be humanized, Naomi Wolf dressed him down in brown. DAngelo and India.Arie wrote odes to brown.

Brown plays nice with sepia, red and green. Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am brown, I contain multitudes.

Right on! Say it loud -- Ultrabrown is proud.

By Andrew Leonard

Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21.

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