Misfortune cookies

The surprises aren't good and the numbers aren't lucky. This week, members of Salon's reader community Table Talk offer wisdom from the world's cruelest Chinese restaurant.

By Salon Staff
Published January 19, 2007 11:57AM (EST)

Imagination

Misfortune cookies

Sky Bluesky - 08:40 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #7 of 1153

Someone will find great prosperity and happiness by stealing your identity.

MardiGras - 09:22 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #22 of 1153

I'm from the free market and I'm here to help you

Lando - 09:36 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #25 of 1153 You hippie storm trooper!

You are a person with grave misgivings. Trust these feelings. Lucky numbers: none

BurstOfLethargy - 09:40 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #30 of 1153

If you still think it's funny to add "...in bed" to the end of a fortune, you'll have plenty of time alone.

Mabel I Sez - 09:50 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #38 of 1153

When you reach your golden years, Social Security will be but a bittersweet memory.

Lando - 09:56 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #45 of 1153

You will embark on a long journey that will become tragically short.

Dr. Zachary Smith - 09:58 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #46 of 1153

Yesterday was the luckiest day of your life.

Tinsel - 10:07 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #53 of 1153

The parts of your former car are halfway to Mexico by the time you read this.

LaurenF - 11:59 am Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #104 of 1153

No one here is willing to Heimlich you.

Fogharty - 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #127 of 1153

The governor will deny your appeal.

Lando - 12:15 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #133 of 1153

Keeping fortunes in your wallet does not make them come true.

Sir Realist - 12:22 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #151 of 1153

You should not have hit "reply to all"

BurstOfLethargy - 12:23 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #153 of 1153

Someday this will all seem funny. Oh, not to you. Did you think we meant to you?

Sir Realist - 12:24 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #156 of 1153

DNA testing holds surprises for you

Fogharty - 01:18 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #227 of 1153

Your red Swingline stapler will be taken away.

Chronica - 01:57 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #254 of 1153

We see a one-bedroom apartment and 39 cats in your future.

JoshD - 03:46 pm Pacific Time - Jan 12, 2007 - #330 of 1154

Great things are coming your way. Unfortunately, one of them arrives while you are crossing the street.

Lando - 07:46 am Pacific Time - Jan 13, 2007 - #417 of 1154

You have great insights about matters of little consequence.

JoshD - 03:30 pm Pacific Time - Jan 13, 2007 - #481 of 1154

You will be saddened by the fact you have no shoes, until you meet a man who has no feet. Later, you will give comfort to a man who has no hat.

EmmEff - 04:51 pm Pacific Time - Jan 13, 2007 - #504 of 1154

All I ever wanted was to be a cake and here I am talking to you in this dump.

Posts of the week is an ongoing feature of Table Talk, Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found here in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.


Salon Staff

MORE FROM Salon Staff


Related Topics ------------------------------------------