Boston Globe: A Broadsheet tipster pointed us in the direction of an article in which Monique Doyle Spencer, apparently an avid anagrammist, expounds on the many, many hidden meanings within the words "Valentine's Day." In her retro, belittling dispatch to men, she advises that they "remember that E-N-V-Y and E-N-V-I-E-D are big clues to women's favorite feelings" and warns against presenting a woman with a ring box to avoid hearing "the words Y-E-S, Y-E-N-T-A, A-I-S-L-E, and V-E-I-L." Here's one she missed: Y-E-I-A-E-A. That's roughly the onomatopoeia of the guttural groan we made after reading the article.
Washington Post: Here's a Valentine's Day card no one wants to get: an STD e-card. (Broadsheet's Lynn Harris was all over this two years ago.) A nonprofit called InSpot, dedicated to "developing and using Internet technologies to prevent disease transmission and enhance the sexual well-being of individuals and communities," has a set of online cards you can use to suggest to past lovers that they, er, might want to be tested for a sexually transmitted disease. "Sometimes there are strings attached," says one. Or, for those who eschew subtlety: "I got screwed while screwing, you might have too."
All Headline News: Fellas, forget the flowers and chocolates this Valentine's Day. The best approach to getting your special lady in the mood may be to show up at her apartment sweaty and unshowered -- at least according to a study out of the University of California at Berkeley that found that the smell of male sweat can trigger sexual arousal in straight women.
Guardian: The U.K. newspaper just came out with a list of "The 50 Men Who Really Understand Women." Some of the choices are great -- like contraceptive pioneer Carl Djerassi and Muhammad Yumus, founder of Grameen Bank. The rationale behind other choices is a little questionable -- like the fact that six out of the 50 are clothing or shoe designers. Or that Bill Clinton comes in at No. 4, with this explainer: "A Bill Clinton appearance still generates a hearty level of hysteria in the US, which just goes to show how some thoughtfully chosen good works can rehabilitate a philanderer."
CNSNews: Sex beats romance, at least on the pages of women's magazines. A Valentine's Day report released by the Culture and Media Institute found that in the February issues of major women's magazines, articles about sex outnumbered those about romance or love at a rate of 2 to 1. That isn't terribly shocking news, but CMI director Robert Knight feels otherwise: "Some of these [magazines] -- whose readers number in the millions -- aid and reflect America's porn-saturated culture, which is destroying the country's soul and creating a generation of men with alley cat ethics." Continues Knight, "When are women going to tire of being codependents to men who won't grow up?" Here's a question for Knight: When will people stop taking a woman's interest in sex or improving her sex life as a certain sign of subjugation?