From the Department of "Thanks for Clearing That Up":
News sources today are reporting that the Advocate will next week publish an interview with presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton in which she directly addresses long-percolating rumors that she is a lesbian.
Are you on the edge of your seat with breathless anticipation? Have you been stewing over this very question since you first saw her on "60 Minutes" in 1992? Can you not wait another second to get the good word? Then you'll find it utterly mind-blowing to discover that, nope, Hillary Clinton's not gay.
According to the New York Daily News, Advocate news and features editor Sean Kennedy asked Clinton directly how she responds to "the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian."
Clinton replied, "People say a lot of things about me, so I really don't pay any attention to it ... It's not true, but it is something that I have no control over. People will say what they want to say."
Apparently this response just didn't provide enough clarity for the Daily News, which followed up with a call to Kennedy, just to double-check that he didn't think she was lying or anything. "I 100 percent believe she's a straight, heterosexual woman," Kennedy told the paper.
So there you have it, folks. For those of you keeping score at home: Hillary Clinton is a tough, independent Wellesley grad; she is not a lesbian.