Creepy panties for the 'tweens on your list

It's hard out there for a Wal-Mart.

By Lynn Harris

Published December 12, 2007 2:20PM (EST)

In case you missed this: A Feministing reader visiting Wal-Mart, presumably to gather evidence for the largest civil rights class-action suit in history, or to be refused Plan B, or to purchase the once-banned "Someday a Woman Will Be President" T-shirt, snapped this photo of a pair of girls' unmentionables for sale ($2.96) in the juniors department. For those of you weary of clicking on links to photos depicting our culture's creepy sexualization of girls, here's the spoiler: The front of the underpants reads "Who needs credit cards ..."

Huh. "What were the rough drafts?" wondered Valley Girl Intelligentsia, offering the following suggestions:

"Can't touch this without cash."

"You'll have to pay my pimp first."

"I am not worried about fiscal responsibility because I have a vagina which allows me to entrance men to buy material goods for me."

"Hot Pocket."

Punctuation nerds puzzled by the ellipsis ("cards ...") will be relieved to know that, yes, as blog commenters here and there have pointed out, the message continues on the back (that's "back," as in "comma, baby got"). There, it says "... when you have Santa Claus?"

Oh, that's better. "Who needs credit cards ... when you have a sugar daddy who SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING?" At least that makes the items seasonal. And thus, ideally, gone by the first of next year.

Lynn Harris

Award-winning journalist Lynn Harris is author of the comic novel "Death by Chick Lit" and co-creator of She also writes for the New York Times, Glamour, and many others.

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