I've always winced at the thought of a plastic surgeon injecting collagen into a woman's G spot, but simply because it involves skewering a sensitive spot with a needle. In fact, even with the manic media coverage of the G-Shot, I haven't come across a full account of what it's actually like to undergo the procedure. Until now, that is -- and it's a blessing that the storyteller just so happens to be the hilarious Margaret Cho. She got the shot as part of her upcoming reality TV show and then detailed the results in her blog.
So, is it thigh-trembling, toe-curling ecstasy? The female equivalent of Viagra? The best thing since the Rabbit? Cho puts it this way: "My vagina just feels like there is a gel insole in there. Like my cervix is wearing boot socks. I am totally asexual and I feel like I am sitting on a hemorrhoid donut all the time." Hot! She also describes it as a "good punishment for sex offenders" and signs off noting that she will "be at the convent until the swelling goes down."
Cho is obviously disappointed by the results, but it seems mostly because she thinks "the spirit of the thing is cool." She writes, "Women should feel good in their bodies and if surgery can enhance that, I am all for it." Funny, because I've always viewed the G-Shot as yet another way to make women feel bad about their bodies -- after all, scientific evidence of its effectiveness is certainly sketchy. It might work for some women, but color me unconvinced.
I would hate to leave you with thoughts of a sock-wearing cervix or a hemorrhoidal hoohah -- so, I give you Cho's pre-collagen vagina monologue:
My puss is more clitoral than vaginal. I am more into the outside than the inside. I am more about display than content. Whenever I go to a party, I tend to hang out on the steps rather than in the house and I never go into the backyard. And to keep the party analogy going, I don't even have a G-Spot, per say, one place where the party is all centered, but there are lots of smaller events happening all over the area. Mine isn't a G-Spot. More like a G-Block Party. My pussy is a lot like Coachella. There are a lot of bands hanging around waiting to play.