Women trade dead-end relationships for dead-end careers?

The Onion issues its special report on gender.

Published June 2, 2008 3:31PM (EDT)

One of my favorite headlines from the Onion, which I have posted here at my desk, is from the special women's issue that ran in May 2007, "Women Now Empowered by Everything a Woman Does." (Also posted at my desk: This.) In this week's Onion, the wisecrackers offer their skewed take on gender once again, tongue hopelessly pressed in check. Their special report is partly funny, partly depressing, partly offensive, which if memory serves, is a pretty great recipe for comedy: "Women Increasingly Choosing Dead-End Careers Over Dead-End Relationships." An excerpt:

"'Avoiding dying alone at all costs is no longer the primary goal for many of today's women,' Detweiller said. 'Every year, millions of educated females discover that they can be just as underappreciated and ignored in the workplace as they can while doting on loutish and inattentive boyfriends.' … 'So many of my friends ended up centering their lives around uncaring deadbeats,' Taylor said. 'I'm not saying that I won't date a series of emotionally distant men in the future, but for right now, I prefer to focus on carving out a solid career rut for myself.'"

In other Onion news, "Restaurant Patrons Entranced by Sizzling Order of Fajitas."

By Sarah Hepola

Sarah Hepola is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget."

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