Respect the Web geek's cock!

An entrepreneur offers a charming speech on how to launch a start-up and deal with all those money-grubbing whores.

Published July 31, 2008 4:40PM (EDT)

A video on Gawker Wednesday featured Web entrepreneur Charles Forman giving a talk at the Ignite tech conference on "how to date a celebrechaun with a founder fetish."

What does that mean? Apparently, a celebrechaun is sort of the Internet version of a groupie, some kind of trophy girlfriend who only dates Web entrepreneurs. (Why "celebrechauns"? Are they little and green? Am I missing something?)

Forman's talk is essentially about "how to launch your own start-up and deal with all the whores who are going to glom onto you and try to get your money." And it's disgusting. It's like Frank Mackey's "Seduce & Destroy" for techies. Some of the "funniest" lines?

"Your Alexa rank = her self-worth"

"[She] will blow your IT guy to get to you"

"Celebrechauns are self-absorbed, self-perpetuating, empty inside and 97 percent disappointment"

"Don't pay for shit! Premium celebrechauns have their own trust funds"

"For fun: ask her to marry you ... [they] never get the ring appraised, so keep it cheap"

"If you have a down round, she dumps you; if you get acquired, she marries you; if you go public, you can break up with her before she breaks up with you"

In a fitting finale, Forman's ex-girlfriend -- none other than Julia Allison, a "founder fetishist" in the video -- runs onstage giggling after the presentation to give Forman a hug. Pardon me while I barf a little.

By Jessica Wakeman

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