The devil's playground

Would Satan like s'mores? Notes on camp, hellfire style, from a member of Salon's Table Talk community.

Published August 15, 2008 5:00PM (EDT)

Mind and Spirit

Atheists and Agnostics Only II: Yes, Really!

RSA -- 09:38 am Pacific Time -- Aug 8, 2008 -- #2363 of 2404

As I drove by a string of churches on the way to work today, a few with prominent signs advertising their Christian day camps, it struck me that the children of Satanists are getting a raw deal. Where can they go during their summer vacation? Here's an idea that may help.

Daily schedule for the Devil's Playground: A Day Camp for Budding Satanists

Give the Devil his due: Children should arrive between 8:00 and 9:00 AM. Parents must pay a registration fee of $45.00 at this time, using cash, check, or money order. (Unfortunately, we are no longer able to process written pacts of any kind, whether in the form of credit cards, contracts signed in blood, or combinations thereof.)

Speak of the Devil: The day begins with camp counselors leading the children in a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance (the pre-1954 version), followed by a set of simple invocations and stretching rituals.

The Devil made me do it: A craft session follows. Children will have the opportunity to learn new skills in easy craft projects: pipe-cleaner pentacles, a "grimoire" made with construction paper and colored pencils, and finger painting (supplies donated by our local sponsor, the Pigments-Not-Pig's-Blood Paint Company).

Lunchtime: A filling vegan lunch will be provided.

Get thee behind me: Outdoor playtime! Games include Follow the Leader, Simon Says, and Red Light/Green Light/Black Light.

Idle hands are the Devil's playthings: An afternoon period will give the children a bit of quiet time, for resting or daydreaming.

The Devil is in the details: Music appreciation. Children will hear their favorites, both traditional and modern, ranging from "Peter and the Wolf" to popular variations on songs by the Beatles and Led Zeppelin.

End of days: The schedule of events ends at 5:00 PM.

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