Vice squad

Why are you qualified to be second in command? Members of Salon's Table Talk community give their reasons, this week.


Salon Staff
September 13, 2008 2:03PM (UTC)

White House

Raspberry - 09:10 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008

If Sarah Palin has foreign policy experience b/c you can see Russia from a remote Alaskan island ... how are *you* qualified to be on a national ticket?

Why am *I* qualified? I've been to Germany twice. My mother is from Poland. And I lived in, actually in, Washington, DC, for two years. Vote for me!

Advertisement:

Tessie - 09:14 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #2 of 118

I'm in the PTA. And my kid is on a sports team. I have fished.

Scheduler - 09:16 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #4 of 118

I can SEE the (CT) Capitol from my office. I totally have governing experience! Pick me! Plus, my grandmother was Russian -- foreign policy experience right there! AND I have a cute kid.

MQS - 09:20 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #5 of 118

Russian grandparents-in-law, lived in England and Germany for six years, temp duty in the Sahara desert, got that foreign policy thang wired.

Was inside Hq SAC once and I'm married, so wars are no problem.

Advertisement:

SteveH - 09:23 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #6 of 118

I got y'all beat. I used to live in Vermont and it borders Canada, French-speaking Canada no less!

I also used to live near the NJ shore and it's the first line of defense against invading Viking hordes from the North Sea. I now live in California, the first land the Chinese will hit when they come here to foreclose on us.

Also, I'm responsible for my pet cat. I never was in the PTA but I could always join PETA and they have 33% more letters in their acronym.

Douglas Wiken - 09:23 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #7 of 118

On a clear day, we used to be able to see Nebraska across the Missouri River valley from my father's farm and by golly, Nebraska has a Unicameral legislature. Oh, and now and then we can even get Nebraska Public TV from where we live now.

Advertisement:

I'd have to bone up a bit on parliamentary procedure first though just in case a few hours of running the US Senate might be required.

Oh, and once years ago, I actually held a Russian language textbook in my hand.

GenericTTLogin - 09:26 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #10 of 118

Advertisement:

have ovaries. And wear glasses.

Ellyllon - 09:29 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #11 of 118

None of you come CLOSE to my qualifications!

(long, awkward pause here...)

I can be dressed up nicely. If I need to look serious, I can put on glasses. Hair will go into a bun, if necessary.

Advertisement:

After a few days of intensive study, I can Say Things.

I'm near Canada, & they might have some oil up there.

I've traveled abroad more than Sarah Palin (and so has my cat) -- not sure I want to add this to my resume, as it seems over-qualified.

I shop, & therefore, America Women will think I'm Just Like Them

Advertisement:

I've fished before ... can probably gut a trout, though I don't want to.

I have 3 children -- none of whom have caused any trouble at all, & none of whom are pregnant nor caused anyone else to be. (again, risk of over-qualification here)

Again -- did I mention that I can gut a trout????

StephanieL - 09:31 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #12 of 118

Advertisement:

I don't blink. Ever. It's not a condition, it's a qualification.

Lynn - 09:32 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #13 of 118

I'm qualified because I am 48! And I vow to forget the little people. Every single one of youse.

Grizzled Adams - 09:35 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #15 of 118

Advertisement:

I've never been to Alaska, but I have been to Prince Edward Island. I have age spots older than Palin. I have never had an abortion. I have seen Washington DC. My 17 year old daughter spent most of the month of April in France, she is now in her first year of collage. I don't claim to be a great parent but I and my wife have raised 8 children (17 to 40 yo)and they all still talk to us. I tried Marijuana, I liked it! I can make a mean Martini and to me " Make Love not War" is not just an old pickup line.

Just Lee - 09:35 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #16 of 118

I've been in the PTA since 1992 and chaired several committees (publishing and student directory). I was a soccer mom and my kids played street hockey which I watched from my window. I have traveled extensively having been to every state except two and been to the state capitals of 16. (I have been on tours inside 2 of those buildings.) I have visited Washington, DC so know my way around with a map. As far as foreign experience, my travels have taken me to 11 foreign countries, most 40 years ago on a student tour, more recently to Nogales, Mexico, and Niagara Falls, Canada. I am fluent at a 35 year ago high school level in German and Spanish enough that I recognize the signs in the Walmart.

One disqualification, I do not wear lipstick.

Advertisement:

What Constitution? - 09:38 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #20 of 118

Is this on? Oh, vote for me. Thank you.

Just Lee - 09:39 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #21 of 118

I have fired a gun. A .22 in a PE class in college. I have my sharpshooter, first bar. Beat that in national security qualifications!

SteveH - 09:46 am Pacific Time - Sep 12, 2008 - #26 of 118

I don't support nation building. In fact, I've never built a single nation in my entire life. The most I've ever built are pieces of furniture from Ikea.

I promise to surround myself with good people.

Oh, and I'll be the kind of guy you like to have a beer with because I promise to buy every round because presidents pull in some pretty good jack.

Best of Table Talk is an ongoing feature of Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.


Salon Staff

MORE FROM Salon Staff



Fearless journalism
in your inbox every day

Sign up for our free newsletter

• • •