Your daily Palin, dammit

The V.P. nominee's face appears on a piece of toast? People, I chose the wrong day to quit Sarah Palin.

Published September 19, 2008 9:55PM (EDT)

Yesterday, I decided that we would not cover Sarah Palin in Broadsheet today. I made this decision with conviction and confidence, the way one swears off booze on the morning of a particularly gnarly hangover (not that I would know anything about that, wink-wink). But then. Then, well, things happened. Here is the sequence.

1. Alex Koppelman, my colleague in War Room, IM's me this: "Sarah Palin on my toast! an item being sold on ebay." "Good lard," I tell him, "this is happening!" "Yep," he responds. Alex and I have conversations like this.

2. Next, our intern Judy Berman sends around a note to the Broadsheet e-mail list that this thing also happened (via Buzzfeed). Caroline Baum is very pleased with herself for having used the word "tits" on television. Don't miss the way she actually gestures to her own "tits." Video below:

People, I chose the wrong day to quit Sarah Palin. Watching this video is like stabbing myself in the heart with the world's largest syringe and shooting heroin directly into my aorta. (Not that I would know anything about that, wink-wink.)

But then. But then:

3. My brother, a 30-something Ivy League-educated engineer who has only on rare occasions voted Republican, sends me the following text message out of the blue:

"I think palin is hot."

Palm, meet forehead.

I write him back: "Your head is broken."

He concedes this may very well be the case. It has happened before. By the way, I also happen to think Palin is "hot" -- whatever, you can fight about it in the comments section, but I like a sexy librarian. However, what sickens me is the idea that "hotness" could somehow persuade voters to support a ticket whose platform I find truly, genuinely odious. That hotness is hoodwinking people, because my fear about our great country is just that: Hotness is hoodwinking people, everywhere.

And so then:

4. Broadsheet's own Lynn Harris forwards me the following poll from PBS, which asks: Is Sarah Palin qualified to be V.P.? Well, it's PBS -- pretty liberal fan base, this is probably going to be skewed, right? Well, all I know is that as of 5 p.m. EST, the poll read: "Yes, 52 percent; No, 41 percent. Not sure, 5 percent." (Who are these sad, pathetic "Not sure" people? Are they the people who just stand -- sadly, pathetically -- in a long lunch line and say, when they get to the front, "I don't know. I'll just have whatever"?)

So screw it. I'm writing about Sarah Palin today. I don't care what I decided yesterday. However, I should note that, according to the latest War Room post, Palin's numbers are down and her sheen and immense popularity are fading.

Now finally: That is something worth reporting.

By Sarah Hepola

Sarah Hepola is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget."

MORE FROM Sarah Hepola

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