Bargain gifts for the dog lover

Let your pooch chase squirrels indoors and exact revenge on Michael Vick.

By Heather Havrilesky
December 3, 2008 4:27PM (UTC)
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Dog lovers who were saddened by the story of NFL quarterback Michael Vick's involvement in a dog-fighting ring will want to purchase the ultimate revenge for their pup this Christmas: The Vick Dog Chew Toy ($12.50). The next time those heartless dog abusers get you down, you can soothe yourself by watching your dog happily gnaw off Michael Vick's head.


If your ferocious chewers are likely to rip Vick to shreds in a matter of seconds, ingest all the little pieces and vomit them all over the shag carpet a few minutes later, you might consider Tuffy's Bull  ($24.95) instead. "Bevo" the bull is big -- 19 inches by 12 inches by 12 inches -- and made tough from four layers of nylon, PVC and fleece sewn together.

Easily bored dogs who sulk like sullen teens when you leave the house might brighten up when they see a Tug-A-Jug ($12.99) under the tree. You fill this (very durable) jug with treats, and your dog will have to yank and chew on a rope to release them -- better than yanking and chewing on your throw pillows, at any rate.

Your dog would probably ask Santa for the Hide-A-Squirrel ($13.40) if she could. Clever dogs will pull the plush squirrels out of their little plush log and then squish them back in over and over again, while less restrained breeds are likely to dig the squirrels out in a frenzy, and then disembowel them all in a matter of minutes. But, hey, what better way to celebrate the spirit of Christmas?

Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky is a regular contributor to the New York Times Magazine, The Awl and Bookforum, and is the author of the memoir "Disaster Preparedness." You can also follow her on Twitter at @hhavrilesky.

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