As transcribed from my DVR, here’s FOX News’ Neil Cavuto this afternoon on the continuing stock market increases we witnessed yet again today:
I want you to take a look at this, because if Wall Street’s worried about all the crosscurrents in Washington right now, it has a funny way of showing it: the Dow up better than 214 points, 8,426. We are very close to being even on the year, when for a while we down 20 more than percent on the year, the Dow storming back to levels we’ve not seen since early January.
So on the year now we are effectively at a wash, a year that had us cascading better than 20 percent, well, well, well into bear territory. Like I said, Wall Street climbed a wall of worry. Whatever it is, it’s climbing through this.
Whatever it is? Yes, Mr. Cavuto, because politics and the stock market are totally unrelated . . . except, of course, when the market is tanking and a Democrat is in the White House and Fox News is shouting like a barn full of Chicken Littles.
How can Cavuto even look himself in the face while getting made up for this show? Why doesn’t he just offer a commentary explaining how the color blue—you know, the Democrats’ color—is responsible for all bear markets and Ronald Reagan’s haircut style is responsible for all bull markets. It would be about as sensical and serious as the junk they pass off as analysis on FOX. Many of the network's viewers would be persuaded.
Cavuto cut the story short -- no segments dedicated to interviewing economists about how President Obama is responsible for the bullish trends of late, though of course there was plenty of FOX air time dedicated to "Obama's bear market" storylines and conversations just seven weeks ago.
Instead, he pivoted quickly to a segment -- you can’t make this up -- about how George W. Bush can’t really be unpopular because it only took him 100 days to raise $100 million for his presidential library. Yes, Neil, because those donations derive randomly from all Americans and in even amounts, thereby serving as a proxy for popularity and proving once and for all that the left-wing media manufactured almost three years’ polling showing Bush hovering around 30 percent approval.
Man, I’d hate to end up on trial for my life and find out Neil Cavuto were my court-appointed attorney. I’d have a better chance with Lionel Hutz representing me.