Pet sounds

Members of Salon's Table Talk community share the stuff you can only say to a cat.


Salon Staff
June 5, 2009 9:06PM (UTC)

House and Garden

Cats & Other Furry Fiends

Fogharty - 08:50 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1467 of 1603

Things You Say to Your Pet That Would Sound Wrong if Said to a Human

"Hey! My bra is not a chew toy!"

OBC - 08:53 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1468 of 1603

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You remind me of the time I was giving a co-worker a "cat report" (at her request). When I told her Alex rolls on the floor begging me to rub his tummy, another co-worker said, "If I didn't know Alex was your cat, that would sound very strange!"

fullybaked - 09:28 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1469 of 1603

There are so many strange things I say to the cats, I wouldn't know where to start. I blame a certain amount of it on the fact that I live alone, so I am just making conversation. "So cats, what should we have for dinner?" "Do you guys want to go to bed now?" I guess "Goddammit, stop using the bath mat to bury your shit!" would top the list of 'things that would sound wrong if said to a human.'

Mendocino - 09:52 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1470 of 1603

"Please remove your pointy end from my boob."

Cobrafrat - 09:54 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1471 of 1603

"Do you have to stick your cold nose on my eyelid?"

Wonder Dog - 10:01 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1472 of 160

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"Quit humping that blanket."

ambott - 10:02 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1473 of 1603

"I really don't want to see your tail end."

fullybaked - 10:15 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1475 of 1603

"Please don't stick your ass in my face."

Fogharty - 10:36 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1476 of 1603

"Get off the fridge now!"

Mendocino - 10:37 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1477 of 1603

"Would you like some beatins?"

Ms. Anthrope - 11:05 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1478 of 1603

"Would you PLEASE stop making biscuits on my breasts?"

Bruce Jones - 11:12 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1479 of 1603

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"How many times do I have to tell you -- stop shitting on the floor!"

Cobrafrat - 11:35 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1480 of 1603

"I am not your speedbump on your racetrack!"

sophierose - 11:49 am Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1481 of 1603

"For God sakes don't roll all over my underpants!"

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Kitten - 12:13 pm Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1482 of 1603

"Yay for good pooping!" (OK, one would say this to a child ... but not to an older human.) 

LaDeeVah - 12:17 pm Pacific Time - Jun 1, 2009 - #1483 of 1603

"C'mere, Frankie, your butt needs washing."

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Best of Table Talk is an ongoing feature of Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up  here.

 


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