Single ladies, put a (fake) ring on it

A Web site sells a fake wedding ring as a way to "work the room in disguise"

By Tracy Clark-Flory
July 28, 2009 8:30PM (UTC)
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I've found that wearing a simple band on my ring finger prompts some guys to ask about my relationship status. This unintended side effect is rather convenient since I do have an "other" but prefer to not blurt out "I have a boyfriend, get away!" any time a member of the male species talks to me. Committed or not, a well-placed ring can guard against unwanted attention: I know a woman who in her single days would wear her grandmother's wedding ring because it allowed her to read a book in a bar without being mobbed by guys on the prowl. (It was "feminism vs. pragmatism," as she saw it.) So, I guess it should come as no surprise that someone is capitalizing on this effective ring-finger messaging in a big, blingy way. Meet Ms. Taken, the fake wedding ring that's meant to ward off unwanted suitors.

Only, this isn't a way for partnered ladies to signal their status or for single gals to have a quiet night out by their lonesome. The Web site explains: "The freaks come out at night. They glom onto your elbow, disrupt your conversations and worst of all, they freeze out the real hot prospects. First step? Slip on the ring -- a little bright lie that says you're married to the man of your dreams (whenever he gets here). When the coast is clear, stash your secret weapon in your keychain. Next time an unwanted suitor lurks near, tap your inner vixen and remember: you're Ms. Taken." In other words: Slip this sucker on the minute an unattractive suitor approaches. Never mind that he might later watch as you tuck away your "wedding ring" and then snog the rich banker douchebag in the corner. Sheesh, no wonder some guys become so bitter.


The real icing on this fake wedding cake is the Ms. Taken music video, a takeoff of Saturday Night Live's "Jizz in My Pants," which features some mean girls puking when being approached by (or even thinking about) unworthy men. Meh. Watch below, if you want.

Tracy Clark-Flory

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