Because it just never gets old watching geeky white guys rap about $5000 bicycles, I recommend to you, my beloved bicycling-obsessed readers, "Performance" by Robin Moore.
If you hate Lycra-clad bikers, you'll hate 'em even more after watching this. If you hate uber-cool fixie urban biker hipsters even more than you hate Lycra-clad bikers, you'll be dancing in the aisles.
And yeah, it is all about performance. It's the name of the game. And yes, I do pump up my tires and oil my chain. I did so just a few hours ago, in fact.
My favorite quattrain:
24-by- 7 I'm wearing nothing but Spandex
Cutting through the wind because I'm aerodynamic
And when I slam it it makes you look inert
I'm eating up hills like my name is Eddy Merckx