Today in vaguely interesting unsolved pop culture mysteries, Carly Simon has finally revealed the identity of the person who inspired her 1972 hit, "You're So Vain." At least, British tabloid The Sun says she has, "by whispering [his] name BACKWARDS in a reworked version of the 1972 song for her new album Never Been Gone, out next week." (Emphasis all theirs.) All righty, then.
Evidently, the narcissistic bastard in question is not one of Simon's former boyfriends -- Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Cat Stevens and Kris Kristofferson were all candidates -- or a "composite," as the singer previously claimed. It was... drumroll... producer David Geffen, who was head of her record label at the time, and presumably never dated her at all, seeing as how he's gay. "[R]ather than being angry about a failed relationship," says the Sun, "Carly is thought to have resented the effort he put into promoting rival Joni Mitchell."
Well! I know I haven't felt such sweet relief since I learned that David Crosby was the father of Melissa Etheridge's kids! But actually, I think I still prefer the answer Simon gives Michael Eisner in the interview below, when he asks why she wrote the famous line "You're so vain/you probably think this song is about you."
"Maybe it came from an experience," she says, "Or maybe I just thought it was a clever thing to say."
Update: HuffPo is now saying it might NOT be David Geffen: "While Simon does whisper 'David' backwards, as reported below, she supposedly also whispers the name 'Warren' backwards elsewhere on the same album redo. Also, Simon reportedly wasn't mad at Geffen until two years after 'You're so Vain' was recorded."