How the mighty dragon slayer has fallen! Having reinvented himself as a humbler, more likable version of the arrogant bloviating jackjuice we came to know and love/hate during his original stint as a tribemember in Tocantins, Coach Ben Wade unexpectedly crumbled on Thursday night's "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains."
After a grueling Tribal Council, during which reigning blunt weapon Sandra suggested that he should do more work around camp, Coach wept openly to fellow Tocantins alum Tyson. Tyson took it as a good opportunity to suggest that Coach stop wearing mystical feathers in his hair, doing tai chi around camp and telling long-winded fantastical stories. In other words? Stop being Coach.
The next morning, Coach considers his options on a lonely walkabout, begs Boston Rob for a little man love and then, in a breathtaking demonstration of how insecurity is so often transformed, by sheer force of will, into self-aggrandizement, Coach swallows back his newfound vulnerability and takes refuge -- where else? -- in his old familiar friend, the superiority complex.
See how it works, kids? Now tap that self-doubt and rage and create your very own sense of superiority! Aided only by a copy of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations and years of alienation and loneliness, you, too, can set yourself above the fray.
When in doubt, remember the narcissist's mantra: They're just jealous.