I've often wondered how Cosmopolitan magazine manages to come up with hot new sex tips every single month. At some point, they've got to be either recycling old ideas or just making stuff up to mess with their readers, right? Judging from journalist Marty Beckerman's recent test-run of some of the magazine's supposedly sexy ideas, I'm tempted to conclude that it's the latter.
You may recognize his name: Beckerman has twice before appeared in Salon -- first in 2004 for a Q&A about his feminist-blaming book, "Generation S.L.U.T.," in which he was eviscerated by Rebecca Traister, and then some five years later in a personal essay renouncing his former douchiness. Now he's here, once again, thanks to a brave feat that just might fully redeem him: Beckerman and his girlfriend demonstrate on camera just how screwy Cosmo's sex advice is. For those of you who can't watch the NSFW clip below, you can get the general gist from the video's title: "I Tried Cosmo's Sex Advice -- Wow, My Penis Hurts! (But the Mango Was Nice…)" Yeah.
Even if your man is actually after a sore penis, you need not shell out cash each and every month for the latest issue's guidance, as Beckerman reveals Cosmo's top-secret formula: "I am convinced that the way that they pick their sex advice is to look around their office for any random object and say: 'Put it on a dick.'" Now that is quite the mantra.