Gawker’s Christine O’Donnell tell-all backfires

An anonymous source tells the piggish tale of his "one-night stand" with the candidate

Topics: Christine O'Donnell, Gawker, Broadsheet, Love and Sex,

Gawker's Christine O'Donnell tell-all backfires

I really hate Gawker for making me do this, but … I’m going to have to defend Christine O’Donnell. The site just published an anonymous first-person essay with the headline “I Had a One-Night Stand With Christine O’Donnell.” Apparently Gawker’s headline writers go by a different definition of “one-night stand” than the rest of the world, though, because her anonymous lay didn’t actually get laid. Anonymous says that three years ago O’Donnell showed up tipsy with a friend at his front door on Halloween. Then 25, he was totally weirded out by her random drop-in because he didn’t know her all that well — but that didn’t stop him from dressing up in a boy scout’s uniform, hitting the town and tossing back several beers with her. Eventually, she grabbed his hand, kissed him and whispered sweet nothings — god, I’m bored to death already, aren’t you?

Cut to the pair back at his house making out on the couch and then in bed. Ah, but here’s where he decides to be a gentleman: “I won’t get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening. But I will say that it wasn’t half as exciting as I’d been hoping it would be.” Wait, no, scratch the gentleman part. “Christine was a decent kisser, but … as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin” – although she didn’t reveal that she was a “born-again” virgin. He adds: “And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night.” Then Anonymous does away with all pretense of being a decent human being and writes: “But there were signs that she wasn’t very experienced sexually. When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by,” he continues. “Obviously, that was a big turnoff, and I quickly lost interest. I said goodnight, rolled over, and went to sleep.” Obviously, you’re an ass, Anonymous.

You Might Also Like

The next morning he ordered her out of bed so that he could get to work, and then saw her off without so much as a kiss goodbye. Then she kept calling and e-mailing him without getting the hint, et cetera, et cetera — I trust you can fill in the blanks of this puerile narrative. Gawker includes some shots from that evening of O’Donnell dressed as a ladybug and cheesing for the camera, but Anonymous is cropped out. That’s a smart call, because I’m fairly certain that if this cowardly, tasteless young man’s identity was disclosed, his story of not having sex with Christine O’Donnell would be about as close to sex as he would get with anyone for quite some time. I’ll leave the rest of Anonymous’ drubbing to the rest of the Internet, which already has that covered.

Not only is this piece piggish, but it reveals nothing relevant about her politics or character. In fact, if anything it makes her an immensely more relatable and sympathetic character. As a Gawker commenter put it, ”To me the only point of this mildly tacky, rather boring story is that Christine O’Donnell comes off as a human being, and even a likable one.” Congrats, Gawker, you’ve accomplished quite a feat.

Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter and Facebook.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 10
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails
    Michael Ohl/Museum fur Naturkunde

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Soul-Sucking Dementor Wasp

    Latin name: Ampulex dementor

    Truong Ngyuen

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    10,000th reptile species

    Latin name: Cyrtodactylus vilaphongi

    Jodi Rowley/Australian Museum

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Colour-changing thorny frogs

    Latin name: Gracixalus lumarius

    Judith L. Eger

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Long-fanged bat

    Latin name: Hypsugo dolichodon

    Neang Thy Moe/FFI

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Stealthy wolf snake

    Latin name: Lycodon zoosvictoriae

    Michael Janes

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Feathered coral

    Latin name: Ovabunda andamanensis

    Jerome Constant

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    World's second-longest insect

    Phryganistria heusii yentuensis

    Nantasak Pinkaew

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Slide 8

    Latin name: Sirindhornia spp

    Tim Johnson

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Slide 9

    Tylototriton shanorum

  • Recent Slide Shows



Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>