I love having your elbow jammed unceremoniously into my love handle. I don't know you, but I already feel like you're moving your way to second base, every time you squirm in your seat or take over the corner of my tray table.
I hate you and I hate being stuck on this plane. There's nothing to do, movies aren't offered anymore, people feel more entitled then ever, and here we are sharing air for hours. The magazines have long lost any allure, and the crossword puzzle in People is pathetic. That leaves one thing to do: Eat.
The only problem is that people seem to use a day of flying as an excuse to eat crap; by the end of it all that's exactly what they feel like. I can tell, because when I break out veggies, they glare at me like I won the lottery and won't share. (And I don't share.) Still, I'm a firm believer in treating others the way you would like to be treated. I refuse to be that stinky person. You know the one I mean.
When I get on a plane I generally have celery and carrots on me, maybe a sliced apple. If it's a particularly long flight I have successfully brought along peanut butter, but I generally do not eat my veggies with any kind of salad dressing as salad dressing can be smelly and I refuse to be that person on a plane.
And of course everything has to include a chaser of an Airborne & Advil cocktail, especially if I'm going to visit my parents. We're all going to travel soon, all on top of each other and full of holiday cheer, though "cheer" may be the wrong term. Here's a little something to keep that Hanger (hunger induced anger) at bay while on the road or in the skies. My favorite Get Through Security & Get On With Your Life snackage that won't stink up a plane:
You wish you had my snack trail mix
- 1/3 cup chocolate chips (milk or dark)
- 1¼ cups Kashi Go Lean Crunch
- 1/3 cup craisins
- ½ cup cashews
- ½ cup almonds
- ½ cup marshmallows
- ½ cup dried apricots
- 1 pack of M&Ms (optional)
- Melt chocolate chips and pour over Kashi cereal that has been mixed with craisins.
- Let set, break into pieces, toss with nuts, apricots, marshmallows and anything else you feel like.
- Place mix into any size Ziploc bag and jam into a purse or carry on. You don't have to worry about this stuff getting crushed. Go to airport.