Your best take: My life as a gay grandma

One reader takes issue with the author's notion of a child-less "lesbian lifestyle"


Salon Staff
April 1, 2011 10:02PM (UTC)

While married to her husband, Sandy Boucher never dreamed of having children. When she came out of the closet, traditional family was the last thing on her mind. Today, with her partner, she is a self-described "gay grandma." Her story discusses her changing attitude toward children. Our response favorite comes from simpleorchards, who takes issue with Boucher's description of the "lesbian lifestyle":

I agree with dreampod

And I'm a lesbian. This story seems a lot less about you being a "gay grandma" and more about your surprising new connection with children late in the game. I was quite offended at the assertion that there is one certain "lesbian lifestyle" and that you chose such hedonistic behavior to assign as typical lesbian conduct. I have always resented the idea that queer people must follow a certain code of behavior to be accepted into the community. Being gay doesn't change your personality. A person doesn't write poetry, engage in simultaneous love affairs, and dance at bars until closing because she's gay! She does those things because that's the type of person she has chosen to be. It has nothing to do with her sexuality. It is really disturbing to me how so many people in the community, those very people who should have a basic understanding of how all this works, insist on becoming walking stereotypes. They reject the standard heterosexual mold, only to try to force themselves into an equal but opposite model. It's reactionary and misses the point of living a genuine life, of being free to be exactly who you truly are. It's a pity. Not everything in your life has to be qualified by the fact you're gay. And in this case, this experience seems no different from any other step-parent or grandparent.

To read the rest of the letters, click here.

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